How do you decide if best for parent to "Age in Place" or be in assisted living?
My mother is 81, and has been extremely lonely and depressed for many years. It eventually pushed her into mild dementia. After a bad fall with a brain injury in March, she graduated to moderate dementia. Her short term memory took the biggest hit. After a hospital and rehab stay, my brother and I selected an ALF to see if she could adjust to assisted living. It's been 2 very loooooong months.
She is miserable in the assisted living, and her most frequent complaint is due to having such a small living space, and constantly begs to go "home", even though she only has a vague idea of what home is. My husband and I work full-time, so living with us is not an option. I feel guilty in not helping her to get back to her patio home, even though I know she would lose the small bit of social interaction she has at the ALF. It feels like there is no really good option, and am being drained by the amount of attention she needs. We've hired a companion to spend afternoons with her and assist her in learning to socialize, and I have spent almost every evening with her trying to help her adjust. Her misery is really wearing on me. I'm thinking that going back to her patio home with some paid assistance is going to be the least of the miserable options. Even though she will quickly be crying about "staring at the four walls, alone".
Does anyone have any wisdom to share?