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I'm sole caregiver for my mom, my sister and brother live out of state and don't see her or help in any way. I depend on my benefits from my fathers estate, of which my sister is executrix. However, For reasons my sister hasn't satisfactorily explained, That money is much less than My father said it would be and It has stopped coming about 9 months ago. I need good legal advice but can't afford it and don't know where to go. Help?

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Call your State Bar Asssociation and ask if there is an estate attorney who can help you. You will need legal help here. It's sad when families need to do this, but if there is no other way, and since you suspect the money is not being properly handled, you may need help. At least check it out. Also, you may want to go to your state's Web site under aging services and look for a phone number or email. There may be services to help your mom and give you a break.
Carol
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Ted,
You do not say if your mom is mentally incompetent to legally intervene in this situation or if she was divorced from your father before his death or if there was a prenuptial agreement between them before they married. Unless one of these conditions is present it is highly unlikely that your sister could withhold funds that legally belonged to your mom. An executor of an estate has a legal responsibility to distribute the estate funds according to the deceased person's Will. Normally, the Estate passes to the living spouse. Upon his/her death, an Executor is commissioned by the State to oversee probate and to distribute the remaining funds (if any) to the recipients named in the Will of the last deceased spouse. BTW-if "this petty money stuff" is the only connection you have to your mom, it is pathetic for her too.
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Ted,
Based on the new information you provided I urge you to contact your county Dept of Aging to determine if your mom qualifies for Medicaid or other benefits. By using your personal funds to care for her you may actually be disqualifying her for Federal and State benefits to which she is entitled. Here again, I am assuming she is a US Citizen which may not be the case but your assertion that you cannot afford to take care of her without the funds from your father's estate indicates that she would qualify for State and Federal assistance. Also, it sounds like you are, by default, the Head of Household. This means that she qualifies as YOUR dependent for tax purposes. That alone could refresh your current financial situation related to both your earnings and the payments you have received from your father's estate going back the years you started caring for your mother. GET THEE TO A TAX ATTORNEY PRONTO!
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Thank you, Carol. I will start with my state Bar Association. But I have a feeling this is going to be a huge can of worms, interstate law and all.
I'm sure I'm not the only dealing with the many frustrations involved with eldercare, but I'm beginning to fear that this petty money stuff might be the the one that brings an end to my efforts. Pathetic, isn't it?
Ted.
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The executor of the estate of you deceased father will does not give the person the right to handles all the money with no questions asked, She was listed to make sure that mom would be taken care of has he wished, You do need to get some legal help. Also you may your moms durable power of attorney and have some say of how the money is spent. Seek the help as Carol previous advised. patrica61
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This is not realtd to any question or answer is only ( TO WISH ALL OF YOU ON THIS WEB SITE A BLESSED AND PEACEFUL CHRISTMAS) . Thank you all you kind words and thoughtful things that help me get through this year. patrica61
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Yes, it is pathetic, Ted. Don't your siblings realize that if your mom goes into assisted living or a nursing home that it will cost much more than what you are receiving for her care?
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Hi Ted---I would contact an agency in your area for free legal advise in this situation. It is unfortunate that in many cases-there is but one person who does most of the cargiving. Have you any POA and if so is it for legal matters-or just your Mom's health issues, or both? Good Luck!

Hap!
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Dear hapfra, If do not have the legal durable power of attorney,health expoxy you will not be given any help. However if you do there are agency that work with the state elder care in you local neighborhood. Give them a call. There is still time to see if a durable power of attorney can be written up if they are cable of doing it and signing the paper work. If not later on everything can come back to hurt you if money of there's is spent.That is why we all need to look at the futrure for young ones if something happens to us. My mom had all the legal paper work done way before. It was paid for my job I had a special programand it help me out. This was done years before she was ill with dementia, And finally had to go into a assisting living. Of which I received much help from the state and also the military VA . I just lost my mom. However even the funeral plans were done and both my husband and myself did our plus all the legal paper work for our children in case someting happen to us. DO KEEP ALL YOUR RECEIPTS THERRE MAY BE WAY WHEN YOU DO YOUR INCOME TAXES. patrica61
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Thanks to everyone for your comments, But I want to clear some things up. My parents were divorced years ago, and my father's will divides his estate equally among myself and my two siblings, only. My mother is not named in the will. The money I recieve from his estate is mine, and that is what I use to care for my mother.
I do not recieve anything for her care from anyone, other than my own satisfaction, and I don't mind paying for her care out of my pocket, but without recieving my funds from my father's estate, I cannot afford to do so anymore.
Thanks, again, Ted.
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