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My brother wants to have an estate sell now, (to make it easier on him as executor when she passes), but my mom has only been in rehab for 2 1/2 weeks. She will probably go to long term care, but her wishes were not to get rid of things until her death and then split the money between the kids. My feeling is if the items are sold now, they should go into the account for my mother and we should not split any monies that don't belong to us now.

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I appreciate the advice because it helps me in knowing I am sane after all. My idea is to have the sale and place the monies made toward her burial. She had a life insurance policy for $10k for her burial that my brother borrowed from and then wrote me a letter telling me there was no insurance money and I could pay for her funeral. Sooooo, I started a preneed package in my name for her, irrevocable, so it must be used for her burial. I still need 8k to finish paying for it. It is only fair to give these monies back to her, but the brother and a sister still believe they are owed something. It makes me crazy trying to understand how they can be so ruthless. But, you can't change crazy and I just try to have as little contact with them as possible.
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If with your mothers blessing you have a yard or estate sell,the monies should go into her accounts , so she is taken care of. It is her money while she is still alive. Plan # B would be to have your sales and put the money in ay least a one (1) year C.D. account.In this way , if she does pass in that time period, you have a cooling off period to decide what should be done with the money. If your family pissing match has already started , cover your assets now.
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What a sad story popsgirl. My brother was someone I was always close to, he is quite a bit older than me. But, after I found out he had abused the POA by charging up cards (50k) in my mom's name, I had to choose between him and protecting my mom. His actions are those of a stranger to me. I just hope my brother will seek whatever help he needs to realize how wrong he has been and is continuing to be. My mom revered my brother as the only son, and I feel hurt for her, even if her dementia didn't allow her to completely understand what was going on. I just wish he could look out for her like she thinks he has. It really is a deep hurt more so than anger for me. Thanks for the story. :)
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What a sad story popsgirl. My brother was someone I was always close to, he is quite a bit older than me. But, after I found out he had abused the POA by charging up cards (50k) in my mom's name, I had to choose between him and protecting my mom. His actions are those of a stranger to me. I just hope my brother will seek whatever help he needs to realize how wrong he has been and is continuing to be. My mom revered my brother as the only son, and I feel hurt for her, even if her dementia didn't allow her to completely understand what was going on. I just wish he could look out for her like she thinks he has. It really is a deep hurt more so than anger for me. Thanks for the story. :)
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I once visited the estate of my former husband's grandmother after she passed. It was very disconcerting to be among so many family members that were taking paintings off the walls and putting them in their cars when they thought no one was looking. We were staying in a guest room that had a painting sitting behind the door when we arrived. I wondered why it was placed on the floor facing the wall behind the door. A day or so later the son and executor came into the bedroom where I was staying and questioned me about the painting that was no longer behind the door. Because we did not lock the door and were just house guests we did not even notice that someone had removed the painting during our stay. When I was questioned more than once I felt as if I was being accused of stealing and all I did was travel with my husband to his grandmother's estate for her funeral. I remember that i was pregnant with our daughter then and our son was only about 18 months old. It was very upsetting to me to be treated so disrespectfully by the executor of the estate. Later the same day I witnessed this man taking Hungarian china from the kitchen cabinets and storing in a locked cabinet on the 3rd floor of the home. I later learned that he had misrepresented the value of the estate, the IRS was after him and he eventually had a heart attack and died before the estate was ever settled. True and sad story of what greed can do to a family. One of his sisters had turned him in to the IRS and when she and her daughter attended her brothers' funeral no one would speak to them.
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My mom is unable to make decisions for herself, but all of us know very well that our mom did not want my siblings going through her home taking things. She had specifically told all of us that everything was to be sold upon her death, except for anything specifically written into the will, and divided equally. Its really too late for them to be honorable because they have both gone in the house many times and taken things they want. It has just made the whole situation unbearable at times. Trying to think about your parent and worrying about losing them, but at the same time mad as hell about how greed has taken over the people you used to love.
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It is the "right thing" to always honor the wishes of a parent with whom you are responsible for their properties, health etc. However, if she does not recover and must go to long term care, her home and properties will go to pay the nursing home or facility unless she has ample monies to just pay for a private facility or hospice type care. IF your mother is able to make decisions, it would be wise to abide by her decision to do with what is hers however she so chooses as it truly is not for you all to decide, unless she is incapable of making decisions (that was not made clear in the question, so this is a random answer). However, is she is unable to communicate or make decisions, and the disagreement is mainly between you and your brother, it might be wise to get a mediator, pastor, attorney or someone with experience in this area that is neutral who can assist in helping you all to reach peace about any decisions made.
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