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My mother has stage 4 kidney disease as well as other related aging illnesses. She is 91, but gets around without too much assistance. The biggest issue is her loss of short-term memory.function. She simply cannot remember anything said to her nor remember to do anything. She requires someone to tell her what to do and when to do it. She is a very passive, dependent personality type and will not engage in life. Some of this is because she lost my father 8 years ago. If no one is around to tell her to do something, she just sits in her little apartment and stares into space. The staff at her facility comes to get her for activities, but sometimes she just won't go to them. If i go with her, she will participate, however. I go check on her daily and get her to do things like bath, dress, etc and straighten her apt. We also go out to lunch at least once a week and shop. Normally the only real conversation we have is her asking repetitive questions and me answering them. We do not have normal conversation. Maybe it is too late for it, but I just keep trying to come up with something to help her engage. I have siblings close by, but no help there, either.
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i can relate to your concern for your mothers happiness and fulfillment as well as your frustration about how to help her. What health condition is your mom in? It's hard to give you advice without knowing her situation but perhaps the senior centers in your area have resources to provide some stimulating activities. You could ask her doctor, too. And don't forget to take care of yourself through all of this!
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