I'm at my wits end. I don't know how I should be feeling: angry, helpless, guilty, all of the above??
I'm a 22 years old nursing student who lives at home with my parents, two sisters (18 and 25), my 87 year old grandmother and 65 year old aunt. My grandmother has dementia and cannot be by herself. We bathe her, feed her and someone always has to be home with her. My aunt has cancer but she is still very lively but stays at home all day (she doesn't speak English well).
I lived with my boyfriend of 3 years until a year ago when he lost his job and we lost our apartment. I then started nursing school and moved back home. Part of my stress is having lost the freedom that I had with him.
Most of my stress comes from being at my parents house. My mom has taken responsibility of my grandmother and my sisters and I do most of the care. My grandmother sleeps most of the day but has gotten very combative during bathing and other care. We get almost no help from my other aunts and uncles. Most days I am stuck at home watching my grandma since I don't work and cant due to my classes.
I know I should just suck it up and deal with it because she's my grandma and she needs us, but I get so depressed when I see my friends living their lives while I'm at home. I miss having my own life and freedom, living with my boyfriend and only having to worry about school. Some of my friends have married, one is going to Harvard Med, a lot are moved out, and most are just not saddled with my responsibilities.
I have asked my mom about nursing homes but she needs my grandma here for extra money for bills. I don't want to be selfish but I feel like my grandma would get better 24/7 care In a professional setting.
I don't know what to do. Can anyone relate?