What do you do when siblings disagree on hospice?
My amazing mother-in-law will be 76 next week and has has had ALS for over 15 years. Last Sunday she was hospitalized with pneumonia and a torn rotator cuff. Now, a week later, she is at home. She is very upset she can no longer enjoy her coffee and all her meals are now looking and tasting like wallpaper paste (her words). She says she's done. Three out of 5 of her children are in agreement she should be allowed to have all she chooses. (Her coffee and solid foods) My Spouse says this is elderly abuse because it's not in her best interest. He thinks we should be doing all we can to prolong her life. And since she's usually very emotional he feels she's not thinking clearly. This IS all happening very quickly and lots of feelings will be hurt. My main concern is doing what she wishes. Most of her children are understanding of this and since mine is one of the minority, (He's also her favorite and resented by the others) my words to him need to be very compassionate but still convey HER needs first. LOTS of bad things will be happening and I want to be the best and most understanding of everyones feelings I can. Whats the best way to reach all involved?