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I don't want a problem at the Nursing Home about this. He is now hostile toward the nursing home and wants Mom out of there. Mom has dementia. Hate to see the grandson banned from his grandma, but what to do?? Brother is no longer talking to me and threatening going in and blowing up at the nursing home staff. What can I do?

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Wow, just when I thought I had heard it all when it comes to self-centered sibs. You do not need this extera stress in your life.
I do not know how much a nursing home can do unless there is a rule about lengths of visits, or if the child is getting in the way of their care for your mom. Let your Mom's case worker know what is happening, she will notify the various staff members. Perhaps if they give your brother a stern warning, he will be more compliant. I know from experience that the minute you ask a selfish sib for anything, it is met with resistance...that is their way of coping with their world - but you do not have to put up with it.
I am not sure if PoAs give you the authority to keep your Mom in the NH if he convinces her to leave. You may need a guardianship to protect her...talk to a knowledgeable elder care attorney. Also, I have found that the social wokers at my local hospital to be very helpful.
Good luck....do not let your sibs disfunction effect your life....these people are energy vampires!
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The nursing home has come between your brother and his booze is what it sounds like. If you think that he might actually do something stupid when he's drinking by following through with his threats, I'd report him to someone that's for sure.
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Surely the 'facility' has some policies of it's own that your brother is violating, and if he does go 'drinking' and then return for his 'son', unless he is WALKING home, there is the issue of him being able to DRIVE! Or care for his son! At least I would advise them to watch for his 'condition' when he does return to pick up his son.

Again.. he can't remove your mother from the facility (he doesn't have the 'power' to do so) and I would make them aware of the situation (again).
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oops: not old child, but an only child
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He is mildly mentally retarded, an old child, and my brother likes to spend time in a bar, so can't take him there. I know, it is ridiculous!
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I would make the 'staff' aware of the 'family problem' beforehand so they are aware of the situation. So often we are unable to communicate to our 'siblings/family' but STAFF is able to because they have the authority in their facility to make sure peace is kept for the residents.

Please talk to them.
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Why would your 14 yr old nephew need a babysitter?
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I am my mother's sole POA, so I don't think he could remove her, am I right. My brother is a single parent who was used to my mother's help with his son. I am sure he is lost now without her, but he has had 14 years of help from her with him, he needs to cope and regroup. I tried to reason with him and protect all, but now that he has turned on me, my only concern is for the care of my mother. I feel that I must keep my "eye on the ball" and do what I was entrusted to do for her.
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Leave it in the hands of the nursing home. That way it is not you who is making the decisions. If he yells at the staff, he too will be banned from coming in until he can behave. I am sure they could work out a way to have the grandson visit at different times as grandmother truly needs to see him.
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Sounds like your brother has some very twisted ideas regarding his responsibility and your mom's ability. What kind of situation is he in that he would act/react this way?
This is not rational behavior & sounds like he needs some assistance himself. The NH is in no way responsible for the grandson & they may call the authorities on your brother.
This needs to be addressed immediately!
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If you can set up a meeting with the ADM of the nursing home, and the ombudsmans for the facility. Depending on the AGE of the grandson, the FATHER may be guilty of child abandonment, in my VERY humble opinion.

Who has medical power of attorney for your mother? If it is your brother, there is a chance he CAN get her removed from the nursing home. But then what?

So many other factors that are unknown to us, please update, or talk to the nursing home to get this matter resolved as quickly as possible.
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