me123 Asked May 2010

My sister has Power of Attorney for my parents and refuses to speak to me about their care. What legal action can I take to access information about their assisted living care?

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My parents are unaware that my sister is refusing to speak to me or offer information regarding their care- even when either of them is admitted to the hospital, falls, or receives emergency care. She also handles their money and family members suspect she is using their social security and benefits to pay her own expenses.
My husband and I have given my sister thousands of dollars for her rent, car payment, bills, etc., but she cut off communication when we let her know we could not keep covering for her. She lives in the same state and city as my parents (we helped move her, paid her security deposits, rent, car payments, gave her money, bought furniture and items for her house, etc.). We have also been sending checks to my parents- many for a few hundred dollars- and she is authorized to cash them and 'dole out' the money to our parents as she sees fit. Family members are suspicious that she keeps part or most of the money, so we have begun sending checks to my maternal aunt. HELP!

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hevnbnd May 2010
When you have power of attorney, regardless of whether it's for 'finances', 'healthcare', 'special POA for home', or 'special POA for car'. it expires when the person dies. THEN the executor of the state is responsible for taking care of things. The caregiver is entitled to a fee for services rendered. An eldercare attorney should draw up the paperwork/contract, this will say what the monthly fee should be as well as list the duties of the caregiver. The caregiver doesn't have to 'do everything', they are responsible for seeing that things get done. (yard, bills, meals, cleaning, etc.
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SoAlone May 2010
That is good to know about POA for finances. I am only POA for healthcare so I am not familiar with POA for finances. I always thought POA would be like the executor of the estate after death.
We are starting to deal with in-laws along with our parents as time goes on. It is all very confusing.
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NancyH May 2010
Yes, I and my husband's brother are POA for her bank account. I pay all her bills, but all three of the boys are co-owners with her on her bank account. So that when she dies, my job as POA will be over, and they will take over the estate, monies etc. POA does not go on beyond death like cosigners/co-owners do. But all of us are authorized to talk to her doctors about anything we want. That was a separate form she filled out listing us as her advocates.
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naheaton you must be POA for healthcare and not actual Power of Attorney for your mother? since you said your job ends as POA when she dies.
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NancyH May 2010
I should add, that all of us are listed on her health records as being authorized to talk to any/all doctors.
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NancyH May 2010
I have POA for my mother-in-law, along with one of her sons. But that only means that I have access to her bank acct. not her health info. If your folks are still 'with it' mentally speaking, then I don't know why they can't give you permission to be informed of all their health concerns. That's just another form to fill out. Talk to them, talk to he asst living place and make it happen. As for your sister and $$, you're instincts are probably right, so have your parents add you to the bank POA. Like I said, my brother-in-law & I are POA, but all three of the sons (my husband included) are co-signers on their moms bank acct. Once she dies, my job will be done as POA, and they will take over.
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