mhmarfil Asked December 2010

Well caregivers, 2010 is almost over. where do we want to go from here?

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What baggages do we need to throw away? How do we move on? As caregivers overwhelmed with so many issues, finances drained, legal battles, aches and pains, marital problems growing because you're torn on all sides, elderly parents/husbands/wives lingering on uselessly and taking so much of your time, emotions, energy and money resources, etc etc I'd like to know how we will face 2011. I asked earlier for your ideas how I can possibly shorten my mom's life. Don't give me Fear Obligation Guilt reasons I have enough of this crap! Remember I've been taking care of a useless irresponsible mom for 19 years I got more experience than most nursing caregivers in my country but I am so drained the last thing i need to hear is FOG sermon. Anyway back to my question, I'd like to hear your thoughts and ideas how to go about with 2011. What baggages we need to throw away? How do we move on?

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EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack Dec 2010
Finding a place for your mom, such as a nursing home, is essential. You need to have your life back, and she needs care. Please contact you local social service, your Alzheimer's association, or www.alz.org for suggestions on how to move her to a facility.

Caorl
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malast Dec 2010
Why worry about 2011 when it isn't here yet. The only thing we are sure of is now...today...tomorrow is not a promise...just a possibility. Carrying the baggage of both the past and the future will weigh us down too much to get through TODAY.
Yes, we have our past investments of time, money, and selves...but those are spent and we cannot get it back. Sure, there may be a POSSIBILITY that the one(s) we take care of may live another 5, 10 or more, years; but they (or us) could suddenly be gone tomorrow. There are no absolutes...no promises...no guarantees....we can only live in today.
Hopefully, if we just live One Day at A Time, and do what we need to do Just for Today...we will find ourselves with a lot less baggage and more Serenity in 2011.
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toadballet1 Dec 2010
I agree with Carol....do anything you need to get your Mom to a safe place for her safety and your sanity. I am hoping that a good long period of respite from your horrible situation might help you regain your strength and help you figure out what to do from here.
I can hear the agony in your words, but causing the early demise of your Mother (no matter how irresponsible she has been) will only add to your troubles.
Is there a place where you can get free counseling or advice? Does your gov. offer any type of respite care for your Mom?
I am worried about you because you have been at this so long and you are now at the breaking point.
Wish I had more specific answers for you....
Lilli
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Fortress Dec 2010
OMG - Malast what are you even talking about?

How can you keep from thinking and hoping for a better tomorrow. If you are only living in today... well blah.

I don't have any answers but your answer just struck me as ..... silly on a depressing day like today. Hopefully we can look toward a better tomorrow with a little better life and time for ourselves. We sure can't just be stuck in and dwell on today.
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