We want to move our 93 y/o mom to a nursing home but she can't afford the entire monthly cost. Where do we go for financial help?

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Dear shoemaker813, You can call a Nursing Home or Department of Human Services, and ask for a Medicaid packet, which means State (or is it Federal?) aid. It's quite a rigorous process, in that you have to prove need, giving checking and saving account numbers, listing all assets (IRA's, CDs, Annuities, etc.). They will tell you the guidelines and amounts allowed, but from my experience in Michigan, that means she can only own one vehicle, and less than $2,000.00 in assets. They do what's called a "look back" over 5 years, to make sure your Mom didn't give away assets, which could disqualify her. Some people go through an Elder Law Attorney, which can be quite $$$ expensive, but is something you and your siblings could do, with your Mom's help, or if one of you have POA. If she has too many assets to qualify for aid, you do what's called a spend down. In my case, this meant paying off just debts my parent owed. It is an extremely time-consuming process, but if she needs help, one of the few ways to go. There is also a Veterans Benefit available, if she or her husband served during a war. Regardless, the Nursing Home will need all that financial information as well. Hope that helped a little. Take care!
Thank you so much, Secretsister. You were a wealth of information! After reading your comment, I fear that we may run into problems with getting additional financial help. She was paying all of us monthly to care for her and taking it from her savings account...But you have given me at least a direction to turn.
Dear shoemaker813, paying you is not necessarily a bad thing, I don't think. If you can document her care, etc. You may want to check with an Elder Law Attorney on that (for an initial free consultation), or the 1-800 number for Medicaid for your State. Depending on the way she paid you, and etc., she may still qualify. It's worth a try, anyway. Best wishes to you in the journey.
Thanks, SS! You're a gem! :)
You got great information I will add have the social worker assist you I was in the process of applying for medicaide when my husband passed away and one day while with the social worker-I just burst into tears and she did help me a lot-I did go to an Elder lawyer and had to pay him a retainer of 5 hrs and only used a little over 1 hrs and he was going to pay me back but I said I probably need him for things pertaining to my husbands' death and I will make an appointment to make a new will and probably have some things to ask him about. Medicaide is a hassel but what I did was work on some each day and am doing the same with all the paperwork I have to do now to get his insurance and other stuff. This site is so great whatever problem that comes up in life others have gone through the same-just think you will be able to help others after you have suffered through this.
Thank you, Austin, for the idea about contacting a social worker. I hadn't thought of that. I will keep you in my prayers as you continue to crawl through all that paperwork. It doesn't sound like fun at all. And you're right - I hope that I, too, can be a help to others as my husband's siblings and I begin this journey together. Keep your chin up.
I am not sure where you live, in Iowa we have a program to help with nursing home care. I would encourage you to check with your local Area Agency on Aging.
If her spouse or if she was a Veteran look into the VA Aid and Attendance benefit. It may cover $1000.00 to 2000.00 a month towards her care from Home Care to Skilled Nursing.
Does she need skilled care? You may want to look into Assisted Living which is cheaper and most have Aging in Place which will assist her through hospice if needed.
My husband and I are taking care of my brother who has no insurance and just had several toes removed. We are footing all meds and doctors visits. We need help is there any assistance we could possibly apply for?
All responders had great information. With a focus on Home and Community Services in eldercare these days, you may just be okay if you can well document the time and expense you and your family put into caring for your mom. Elderlaw attorneys are a good bet as well as any local area aging services access points.

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