As long as he is not getting sexual or making advances I'd go along with it and not correct him. With dementia our loved ones sometimes believe that we are someone else....look on the bright side- at least he believes you are someone he likes and not the other extreme where he thinks you are stealing or trying to hurt him. Yea, it can be gross- but at least he likes you.
Recognize first of all that his mind is simply not working as it once did. He has no clue what reality truly is. Logic and reason are not recognized as part of his human condition and when they do arise out of his inner depths they are both quickly passing and of far less importance in his mind than are the emotions he is experiencing. To an Alzheimer's Victim, emotions are EVERYTHING.
Secondly, though of course boundaries must be repeatedly established and enforced due to his inability to remember, you might want to make every effort to view this aspect of life on a more positive side... as difficult as it initially might be. That, because wherever his mind is, he is in a very real sense admiring you for whom you represent. Doubtlessly, because somewhere in his mind he has a good sense of respect for you. (Remember - emotions are EVERYTHING.) As trying as it may well be to convert your thinking along these lines, try to keep at the forefront of your thoughts that he views you so favorably. Sometimes, during your learning curve, it helps to also try to view him as a third person - not necessarily the Dad you've always known.
My Mom often wanted us to be boyfriend-girlfriend... and even wanted to marry me. In that I had been able to really come to grips with the fact that she didn't live from the perspective most of us do - reasonable thinking as well as employing the use of logic and reason in order to help modify the level of emotions we are feeling - I viewed her closeness toward me as the result of my being able to better care for her inner joy in life... she was happy! No matter that the outward expressions she put forth were not anywhere near the bounds of reality, inwardly, she was happy.
I remember when once my Dad, with vascular dementia and in a nursing home, said wanted to touch my sweater I was wearing - and touched me on the breast! Eek. Just a little disnihibited too. I tried mot to make too much out of it, and that proved to be the right way to handle it. Staff had to work with him on not touching ladies bottoms too. It was never a really big deal though it could have been if he had not repsonded to limit setting.
This bazarre behavior is all part of the several steps of AD--I would first contact the neurologist-as there could possibly be an underlyng reason whay he is thinking this way-and it could possibly be corrected...I would also contact your nearest chapter of the Alzheimer's Association-for their input and support. This is quite difficult to witness-as he is your Dad, but keep in mind, he is in a different world-and that of Alzheimer's.....been there as well-and had to deal with it. Best to you on this journey, Hap
My mother in law thinks her son is her husband and sometimes yells at him for standing her up for their wedding. He just goes to the basement and works on his projects. She is very nasty towards me when he is not around...where I just laugh at her...but there are times I want to yell. The other night I asked her if she was hitting on my husband she yell "he's not yours yet" We've been married 27 years. I can't wonder however if it was a father thinking I was is girl friend.
They say in AD you sequentially lose memories most recent to oldest - so it may seem to the person with it that they should be in the situation they were in many years ago. There was a relaly really helpful article about that somewhere....I thought maybe it was linked to on here but I cannot find it now.
I agree, go with it and try and change the subject like "tea?" or something. My Mom cries and cries for her husband and one time by husband walked in and she said "Oh you're home!" and held his hand for about 30 minutes, we just went with it and it made her so happy. Sad, so sad, they must have such lonliness in their minds.
I recently read that if a person with AD reads the answer to their question, they remember it much better than if you simply tell them. Perhaps you could have a few cards printed up with a picture of you when you were little, a picture of you now, and underneathe, "your daughter, _______". Then, when he mistakes who you are, say,"I'm your daughter. See? Read this." Maybe something like this would help.
Secondly, though of course boundaries must be repeatedly established and enforced due to his inability to remember, you might want to make every effort to view this aspect of life on a more positive side... as difficult as it initially might be. That, because wherever his mind is, he is in a very real sense admiring you for whom you represent. Doubtlessly, because somewhere in his mind he has a good sense of respect for you. (Remember - emotions are EVERYTHING.) As trying as it may well be to convert your thinking along these lines, try to keep at the forefront of your thoughts that he views you so favorably. Sometimes, during your learning curve, it helps to also try to view him as a third person - not necessarily the Dad you've always known.
My Mom often wanted us to be boyfriend-girlfriend... and even wanted to marry me. In that I had been able to really come to grips with the fact that she didn't live from the perspective most of us do - reasonable thinking as well as employing the use of logic and reason in order to help modify the level of emotions we are feeling - I viewed her closeness toward me as the result of my being able to better care for her inner joy in life... she was happy! No matter that the outward expressions she put forth were not anywhere near the bounds of reality, inwardly, she was happy.
Good luck
V
Best to you on this journey,
Hap