My mom is mad at me as I have tried to talk her into moving out of her home somewhere that can provide additional care and where she will not be so socially isolated, lonely and depressed, She doesn't want to move. I have told her repeatedly, that's fine, it is her choice, it's just my opinion she will be better off. She is 90, very limited mobility, cannot cook, has fallen several times, been hospitalized several times. I got her (and pay for) a medical alert system, HHC aides coming in a couple of hours a day, I cook her meals (paying for the food myself), do her laundry, clean up from her incontinence, take her out of the house at least one a week. I always pay when we go out and I have no access to her money and don't need any access to her money as my husband and I are very financially sound. I am the only child anywhere near here and I live 45 minutes away. My husband and I spend every holiday with her - no one else in the family will come - which means I never see my own kids (who live out of town) for holidays. Plus I have been helping her financially for 30 years, seriously 30 years, without any contributions from siblings. And she gets on the phone and bashes me to my sisters, who believe her and then call me screeching at me. She tells them I'm trying to put her in an institution, that I told her I was abandoning her, I NEVER said anything close to this. Yes, I tell her I think she would be better off somewhere else but I also tell her and them REPEATEDLY that I'm not forcing her to do anything. How can they believe this stuff based on everything I have done to keep this woman safe for 30 years? I always keep them up to date on her status. I have tried all the "ask them to do specific things" which they say they will do and then never do. I can't sit down with a third party as we live so far apart. They just came to see her for the first time in nearly a year, without even letting me know. I am so hurt. I am literally thinking of hiring someone to go there with me every time so that I have a witness. I don't know if this is early signs of dementia. She seems to function fine cognitively but the meaness and lies. But I can predict that if I bring up the possibiity of dementia, it will just pour more fuel on the fire. I don't know what to do, but I'm never going to sit on the phone again with one sister screeching unintelligibly in the background and the other questioning me like she's the Attorney General and I'm some common criminal. Any advice on how to set boundaries in this situation?