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I put Mom in a nursing home five days ago. She'd had some occasional mild confusion at home, but often was coherent and oriented. On the day she was admitted she was lucid and coherent. The next morning when I went to see her she was totally disoriented and was hallucinating. She has not slept at night except for a few hours in the wee hours of the morning. The staff tells me it's not unusual for someone to be very confused for the first couple of weeks, that it takes that long to get acclimated. They were going to contact the dr today to go over her meds and see if he wanted to make any changes or order a sleeping pill. Does anyone have experience with this? Is this confusion and hallucinating a normal reaction to nh placement? Help!

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i have not placed my parents in a nursing home, but i am helping an elderly couple for years, and i helped my friend put her husband into a nursing home at the first day he wanted a divorcee sell the home and he would go on his way, but he needed looking after, and he didn't like what was being done, but it needed to be done, once he got the run of the place and settle down, he loves it know i was talking to him when i was sick on the phone, and ask how was he sleeping now, and he said Fernando when my head hits the pillow I'm dead to the world, and brags how he no longer needs to worry about money but he also had trouble sleeping at first, his wife is frail and was not able to look out for him, and they never had kids. but he has been living there for 11 months and his happy. They said it would take 2 weeks to adjust and he has so keep the faith and hang in there and God Bless
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I don't believe them. My sister was put in one and she didn't act like that and a bother in law. But if she was my mother I would take her out. Have her blood tested to see what kind of drug they have been giving her. She sounds like they are druging her too much.
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Reba, ou are so right! If you leave your mother there long, you will see what is happening. I still preach--Make the nurses let you see the MAR (report that shows what meds were given on each shift, who gave them, time given, etc). See if there are medications that are given that she was not taking at home. Look up each med and found out what is if for,side effects, etc. When you are a caretaker, you have to become a doctor, a nurse, an administrator, a financial advisor and many other things. Most of all, a fighter. I am convinced that there a many elderly who die in nursing homes because of medicines given to keep them calm and out of the way! Be nice but be suspicious of every one and everything that you see and for sure, what you don't see!!
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Hi all,
Thanks for the advice. I already did that with the drug record yesterday. I'm a nurse, so I know what I was looking at, and she hasn't had any medications that she wasn't already on at home. In fact, after her first night of not sleeping I asked if they gave her the Elavil. The doctor ordered it prn (as needed) but I was giving to her every night because she couldn't sleep without it. They hadn't given it to her because I hadn't signed the form to give her tranquillizers or other mood-altering drugs. My checks since then show they've been giving her just one per night. I kinda don't think medications are the problem here.
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Maggie, I had the same experience with my Mom. Nights were hard for her at first.
When she was home I gave her both, lorazepam and mirtazapine-in the NH, they gave her just one because one of them said "as needed". I explained to them that she needed both every night and she's been ok every since.
NH's cannot be blamed for everything that our loved ones do or don't do.
I get tired of hearing how bad NH's are, they give wonderful care, at least where my Mom is, they do.
We complain about caring for one person, they take care of several, all a bit different and they do it with compassion.
It is true that most of them aren't happy all the time, Mom isn't but she wasn't when she was home either.
I'm not happy all the time,show me a person that is and I'll show you a real nut !!!
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Hi Nance, and thank you. I know you're a few months ahead of me on this one. Mom didn't sleep again last night, but finally early this morning she conked out and hasn't woken up yet. The dr (he's been her dr for 2 yrs and also is on staff for the nh) went and checked her out. He suggested IV fluids for 24 hrs to prevent dehydration, as she isn't eating or drinking today because she's sleeping. We'll see how it goes. I'm hoping that she'll catch up on badly needed sleep and start turning around.

I checked this place out on the medicare website where they do NH inspections, and it has historically done very well. I've been impressed with how caring and concerned the staff is. They are into transparency, no formal visiting hrs, you can show up any time day or night, can walk into the therapy room and talk with the therapists without appointments, etc. As I said, I'm a nurse and know what to look for, and I think she's getting quality care. I have seen places where I wouldn't put my dog, but this isn't one of them.

By the way, I know some people who would qualify as real nuts by your definition, but I think they're faking it most of the time :)
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That makes me laugh. Those who blow sunshine have their down times, too. Thanks for sticking up for the NH issue. They aren't all bad, but some I wouldn't even put a junk yard dog in. LOL I think it's wonderful for those who do and can care for their loved ones at home. We just know our limitations.

When I have concerns for Dad's behavior, I have asked them to check his meds. They do that often anyway. The one time he was sleeping, and could barely walk, I asked, and they changed it right away (Ativan prn). They are pretty good, and know much more than me. Not infallible, though. All I know is that Dad is doing better than he did at home with Mom, better than he did in the other NH, and my limitations. The rest we leave to God. I do try to stay alert, though. Thanks for reminding us to keep checking when in doubt.
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Yes by all means keep a check on them. Putting them in a home and the next day they are like the walking dead. There is a reason for that. Too much medication. They do it, believe me I worked in a hospital and if they act up that is what they do. The remark was 'I have had enough of this' and she came back with a shot - sleep time 5-6 hours
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Reba-Where you from and what hospital was that??
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NANCE, St Lukes hospital in 1954. Toledo, Ohio
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That is sad, hope it has improved.
I'm very glad to hear that it wasn't a NH.
I do agree with checking on things--too bad we have to, but---
As with everything else, all NH's aren't great but the one Mom is in, is very nice.
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NANCE, That isn't all that happen. A man was operated on for a Hernia. The doctor said 'well this man doesn't have a Hernia' and one of the nurses said "doctor your operated on the wrong side. The doctor was one of the head doctors in the hospital. They didn't report it because they (nurese) would have lost their job sooner or later. Want to hear more. My husband worked there too. In the operating room they were busy telling jokes. The man he had just operated on was turning blue. My husband tried to get the doctor's attention, my husband yelled "doctor he is turning blue" by that time it was too late. The man died.

It still goes on today. I hate going to the hospital. I had a heart attach in 2007. I told them I couldn't take BP meds. They said well you BP is up. She gave me a pill to bring it down. After they put the stents in they kept me on BP meds. My BP was so low it stoped my kidneys from working. I didn't know what they were giving me. They called another doctor and he took me off of all meds. for HBP. Wouldn't you think my heart guy would have know that. Scary, yes?
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Hospitals are far from perfect. Having worked in little ones and in huge medical centers, I have witnessed some serious malpractice. I have also witnessed excellent care.

As to the drugging patients, back in the 1950's they used to call it chemical restraints. The practice has pretty much fallen by the wayside, hence the need for me to sign forms for EACH tranquillizer that is ordered to allow the nurses to give the med.
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Yes, I have to do the same.
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I think the hospitals are the same today as they were then maybe worse.. This was a small hospital but now it is very large. Things have not changed much. I have a young friend and she is a nurse. She could tell a boat load
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The hospital I worked in used to do lobotomies. Better behave!
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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy :)
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Make it two. LOL
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SecretSister,
Didn't they do that to people that were really depressed?
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I think that went out in 1955.
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NANCE,
Yes, we need to give credit to the good NH and people who truly do care. Mom was in a very bad one for 2 weeks when we went on vacation. For the first week I was home since they had a 2 week minimum. Everyday, 3 times a day I was there to get things done correctly. Now I know that if we need to do a placement again, I have better choices in our area. When we move, I will have to do my homework again. But putting in the effort to do your research and not just complain is worthwhile. Not all are good, but then again, not all are bad.
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Nance, I'm not that old. The hospital I worked in was in the 80's. They strapped people into Geri chairs then, as well. I don't know if the man was depressed, but he didn't care after the procedure. I was horrified! But, back to the subject at hand...

Chemical restraints, shock therapy, physical restraints... Sometimes just a Vascular Infarct (mini stroke) can cause confusion and hallucinations. There are other causes, too. My FIL has Vascular Dementia, and hallucinates. He's been helped with medication, and seems a little better now. No longer seeing piles of ants disappearing when he goes to pick them up. No longer seeing spiders covering the ceiling, and going after them with housekeeping's brooms. No longer moving furniture and tearing out drawers to find imaginary cats in hiding. But the medication hasn't removed this 94 year old widower's desire to buy a house on ten acres, grow raspberries, marry and have children. He expects to get paid for the work he does at the NH. But even with bouts of hallucinations, he can still whip his adult son and grandchild at Checkers and put together jig saw puzzles. For both our dad's, medications absolutely helps their condition. They have been blessed.
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Sister--please don't think I was calling you a lier !! I did say "I think"
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Nance, I took no offense, and could be wrong myself. Maybe they did stop in 1955. Hopefully they have stopped doing lobotomies. A nurse told me that this man had a lobotomy. Perhaps his was done prior to 1955. I don't know when it was done, but I questioned what was wrong with him, and they told me about his operation. I then told my family never to let his Physician near me, if something should happen to me... So, Nance, I didn't think you accused me of anything, nor did I mean to sound defensive. Now I'm curious! If that hospital still existed, and I still worked there, I'd ask more questions. Was it done, where, and when? And I'd check to see if the nurse who told me the story was teasing me or serious. So, I was just adding to the previous conversation, in fun, "thinking it was fact." I don't know if he (whoever he was) had really had a lobotomy or not. I was a young gal, just working the grave yard shift, learning how to do my job. They could have been messing with me. The man did have an operation on his forehead, though. And he was strapped to a horrid looking chair on wheels. I inquired about him out of curiosity. So scratch the last few posts. But keep me away from that man's doctor! Hope that clears things up, Nance. I was respondining to you in light spirits and humor, surely not accusations. Hope your day is blessed.
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Most of it is due to a syndrome called "Transfer Trauma" - it is serious and real - not in their heads. That is why nursing homes say its not unusual.....if it happens to your loved one, you should know that your understanding and being there without judgement to get them through it might help them from crashing.

Rather than explain it, anyone interested can fiind plenty of material on the subject - through google or medical sites....don't rely on the popular 'webmd' type sites..not much there.
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Annlidiot, I wondered about that. But would it cause them to act like ( the walking dead ) is what I have heard.
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I think if/when mom has to go into a nursing home, to be with her as much as possible for a few days until she is familiar with some of the staff and the grounds, and that she would be securing knowing I was not dumping her. A recent hospital stay in the same room as a ranting screaming deaf woman threw mom into a hallucinatory spin for one episode. And that got doctors thinking she was way down on the Alzheimer's scale. Next thing I was having talks with palliative care team. Mom did this another hospital stay with screaming roommate. Zoned out a whole Alzheimer's level.
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AlzCaregiver, That is a good idea. It is such a awful disease. They say people are getting it left and right.
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what Alzcareagiver said about zoing out an entire level is why being sensitive to surroundings and input is so important to anyone with cognitive problems. Add meds to that and you have the makings of a nightmare. I am struck by the fact that we are seeing our own futures and should be striving to make the systems better while we fight for the best care for our parents.

I saw a difference in my mom's behavior which was stable when the construction on our street started using toxic compounds to resurface their driveway. They are fragile, and one day we might be too. Nursing homes are no panacea - if you are stressed and can't handle caring for them at home thats perfectly ok. Nursing homes are by nature imperfect and impersonal despite what the brochures say - so a vibrant sociable elder may like assisted living or having sing a longs, but I wonder if lying in a convalescant home with 24 tvs blaring up & down the halls and no visitors is not a future I want for myself, or my mom. Bless everyone who tries their hardest no matter where their loved ones are.
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Annlidiot, Amen
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