How can I repair my broken family after our mother’s death?

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My mom died 2 mos. ago. None of my 3 siblings and their spouses have spoken to me since. While she was alive I pushed for her to make someone a poa and she refused, part of the reason there was a big fight in the nh near the end. One sister and a half-brother are the executors - but apparently have not filed probate yet - and according to state law probate has to be filed within 40 days. This has gotten much uglier than I anticipated. Has anyone had anything like this happen?

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my mothers wishes were carried out possibly even more fairly than she had suggested , being demented and all . my oldest sis received a modular home on 3 acres with no mortgage on it . mom would have liked for me to harvest the big dead trees from the forest as i needed them for firewood . oldest sis just smirk - gloated me at the very suggestion . when one of those big trees falls and tears her house up im gonna charge her ass off to repair it . mom was thinking ahead , sis isnt ..
my aunt would like me to harvest some of the big trees off of her place but her daughter and g - kids say no way . they prefer to see the place go solely to medicaide recovery .
family blows . im ok with all of em but dont necessarily like them .
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my siblings are doing a "silent treatment" on me, and parent not even dead yet! it is truly their choice to be so nasty, and I for one, am not going to accompany them in that sick dance.
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hmmmm. looking at the dates, it's been so long! When my sister & half brother sent out the checks from the inheritence my niece (my deceased brother's daughter) was $7,000.00 short. My sister hardly ever speaks to me. We used to get together all the time. Not even a 'happy thanksgiving'. It's been hard getting used to losing a family. I try to focus on my chosen family. People say things like, 'it's their loss'. Well folks, it's my loss too! but I'm learning to move on because I can't change it. my poor ol' mom would roll over in her grave if she knew!
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Cotacheryl the thing I've learned is that friends become our "chosen" family. We can't pick our family members. I only have one brother who's married (no kids). I have done all of the caregiving for my mom and dad. When my mom goes (I've been caring for her for 13 years), I'm not sure how much (if any) contact I'll have with my brother and his wife. My brother isn't a bad guy, but I find his self-involvement and lack of concern about our mom (and dad) to be very troubling to me.

But over the years, I've cultivated friends and will continue to have a circle of people around me who care about me and share my values. So even though it's sad when our families aren't like the Leave It To Beaver family or Father Knows Best, we can create another "family" of chosen friends and co-workers that can be even closer than family, because we can choose them for who they are. Hugs to you...I'm sure it's a hard and sad reality to accept.
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My sister June died in May after I gave her a stem cell transplant. Following her death, my brother Ed, sister Karen and I met to read my sister's, will at her house. My sister and I were waiting for my brother to get there, then my sister came out of her bedroom and said; "All I want is the bedroom set and the TV" I told her Nicely, it wasn't the time to discuss her stuff. That was the beginning of the end. My sister left a large Estate of 4 homes and money. My brother and sister aligned against me. We are all executors, however whenever I did not agree, my brother would scream at me, and my sister went along with him. I eventually had to tell both of them I will not be abused anymore and to only email me with business of the Estate. This has been a nightmare for me. I felt like I was going to have a break down a couple of times. I had to take the emails to my lawyer who told me these emails were from sick people. I always knew my brother and sister had anger issues from childhood, being raised in a Alcoholic household, but it came out horrible. They did not include me in the burial of my sister's ashes. I was devastated. My sister who died was very close to me and I to her. We were together constantly. She was my best friend. I have been in recovery and just celebrated 28 years. They have no recovery. The sad thing is I've lost my whole family
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I Seen the similar situation happen when my grandpa passed away. His three adult children were the heirs to his estate. It really is about the money. My mom was mad because her older brother went selling off expensive farm equipment without contacting the sisters. Well he didn't know the values of these things considering he was a funeral director for twenty years. So he was like giving it away. It makes so much sense to have POA in place, and wills, then everyone knows before hand what is rightfully theirs, and hopefully the family can remain in tact. A death in the family is a time when your suppose to support eachother,and its sad to see so many families fall apart when the "glue" of the family is gone. All I know is I miss my granpa terribly, and theirs no amount of money in the world to be placed on memories of time spent together, and things he taught me. People need to learn that money isn't everything,and respect,love, and family will always be so much more valuable.kellyb. I hope everything works out for you cath,but It makes me sad that your siblings had argument at NH near the end. my advice is to contact a elder lawyer and ask what the law states, and what you should do if your siblings do not file in timely manner. You may have to take it to court.Best wishes!xo
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How can they spend your moms money after death. If the will is unsupervised. you as a party to it can ask that it be supervised. I thought they were accountable to the court. My friend is going through this and she has to account for everything. Do you think your mom made a change to the will and your sobs r hiding it from you? Just another guess. But they have to follow the law. If I were you I'd get a lawyer app and follow his addvice. Maybe a simple letter from him may get the ball rolling
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Sometimes it's better for us to just let things go and let others learn from their mistakes. My heart goes out to you. Sorry for your loss.
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It always makes me so sad to hear when families fall apart becasue of money... this happened after my dad died.... I just took on the attitude that it wasn't my money to begin with, and I know for a fact some of the things my sister, being the execetor,(sp), was not for the common good.... to me, the bigger picture is those that are dishonest about money that isn't thiers will have consequences to pay, it's out of my hands, and if my sister needed it bad enough to "steal" it, then let her have it..... and besides my old man would be dancing a jig if he thought we were fussing about his money... nope, wouldn't give him that satisfaction, even in death...
All I can say is I kept MY integrity and in the end that is all that mattered to me... I pray you get some things straightened out and keep yourself safe from the hurtful things that can be said and done at a time like this.... hugs to you..
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thank you. part of my concern is the executors properly taking care of their appointed duties. here in Wa. state probate, when necessary, has to be filed within 40 days. I checked and probate has not been filed. the two in charge have their own financial difficulties and I have concerns about a misuse of mom's money.
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