Do you feel like your relationship with your parent has become strained as a result of being a caregiver?

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This was mentioned by someone else when responding to another poster and it struck a chord with me. So I thought I would put a question out here to see if others have experienced this. Do you feel like your relationship with your parent has become strained as a result of being a caregiver? At one point, my mom and I were close. Now it seems we don't enjoy each other. She can be quite sharp and mean to me, that ticks me off when I'm trying so hard. I resent some of the sacrifices I've made so I operate out of obligation some days which I'm sure displays to her as more quiet, withdrawn and task focused. We spend so much time together that there is nothing new to talk about. On the other hand, she continues to have a very natural loving relationship with my sister who lives too far away to assist with anything and this is really hard to swallow when I'm working so hard. I end up resenting them both. Ring a bell for anyone else? What do you do about it?

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Unfortunately, this is common. I feel one reason for this is that elders resent the fact that they need care, so they take out their frustration on the primary caregiver. You mom may feel like you are "bossing her around," even though you are just helping her. Most of us have been in your shoes. The distance sibing is so welcome because he or she is "new."

I don't know a cure for this except patience and understanding that your mom's frustrated with her own condition. You don't need to take abuse, but you do need to put yourself into her shoes.
Take care,
soverytired.. I can relate.. My oldest sister was Dad's favorite.. No matter what anyone else did, his face would light up when she came around. Just finally made up my mind that there was a power greater than dad who appreciated what I was doing, and that made it so much better. I would not allow him to get ugly with me, I did walk out on many occasions, but in the long run, we are the ones that are left with what we did or didn't do... so you hang in there. You are deeply appreciated by other caregivers who understand how you feel.. hugs to you.

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