Helensw Asked July 2011

My brother has been using my mother's money for things other than her rental money. How do I recoup this money for my mom?

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my sibling and I have POA for mom who is in last stage alzheimers. I have recently discovered and uncovered documents that prove mom did not receive any rental income from another property that is now in a trust for at least 5 years, maybe ten, since my father's death. My sibling is not producing any bllls from that property that I requested. They have even charged their car insurance and withdrew money from my mom's reverse mortgage to do so. So far, they have admitted taking $98,000 for the last 3 .5 years of rent because they needed it . (my sibling is disabled on SSI). I am sure more funds have been squirreled away in another bank account in her name. I have POA and have checked mom's bank account and no deposits have been made for the last 3.5 years. I have equal inheritance to my mom's estate, and he has depleted it without my knowledge. I have obtained recent bills from the home she lives in, but I need that rental property bills. My sibling and his wife are covering up alot of inappropriate withdrawals on mom's account and don't know how to investigate this further. Do I see a criminal lawyer for an investigation, can I hire a private investigator to recoup mom's money. I am trying to pay for home health care, and have no money left after september when the reverse mortgage ends. I am torn apart that my sibling woud be so devious and risk mom's welfare and take funds belonging to my mom. My sister is bedridden for the last 3 years and I just want all the money back. Who knows how to do this and what to look for? I suspect she and her husband are shredding bills from that house as we speak. Please advise.

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krnhersh Jul 2011
well i think u r wonderful...u were faced with a very difficult and emotionaly abusive brother, and u took charge, investigated,recooped some-u are so strong, and i just wanted to tell how special and strong u r.
just remember to breath -evey once in a while-a good deep breath-
much love and hugssss-k
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Helensw Jul 2011
Thank you all for your comments. I am still researching and finding other discrepancies. He has already paid back $80,000. I just am trying to figure out how much he owes her, sifting through bills and bank accounts. I know you can hire a forensic accountant who knows how to do this, but it is costly. After I have done all of my investigating. I might still do this. I think I will have enough info to confront him for more. If there is no cooperation, then I will take further action. I just want my mom's money back so that I can take care of her the best way that I know how.
All comments here are so appreciated. It gives me direction. Thanks to all.
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YOU DO NO NEED TO CONTACT A LAWYER YET!!!! Immediately contact you local department of a aging - protective services. They will investigate your brother on your mother's behalf for elderly financial explotation at no charge to you. If they find wrongdoing which you said they did admit to taking $98,000.00 they will be required to pay it back or head to jail for taking advantage of the elderely. Please don't wait. We had to do this for my mom even though it was not as severe as your case. It helped us tremendously. It's only a phone call or you can e-mail them and they will help you. Please give them a call on your parent's behalf.
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I think this is horrible, and so familiar. The lawyer may cost you your share of the inheritence unfortunately but you do get one free consult from them. They may ask why you havent been using your POA in the past few years to be watching and letting this happen, they can be on both sides if you know what I mean. I think overall if your siblings are not caring for your Mother, and sounds as if they cant possibly be, then you have a good case. But, where is the money going to come from to pay back, out of the inheritence as someone said, if there is any left in the end. Good Luck, I know its so stressful.
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krnhersh Jul 2011
who the hell are our siblings anyway?????????
i m saying that because my brother has also been a real a$#*&^%&!!!!!!
and i thought i knew him, is 7 yrs younger- i used to take care of him a lot....
now, since dad passed and moms in a NH he has become a bully,abusive and just
so sneaky-- idont have any different advice--but i send u millions of huggggggsss
because i know the stress of this can be overwhelming.
and dont forget to take a deep breath every once in a while-
god bless- k
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195Austin Jul 2011
I agree see an elder lawyer first and go from there what he has done is so wrong and if she had to be placed he would have to pay the money back which he probably is not able to do because he probably spent it all but a lawyer would be able to help you-let us know how it goes-he should not nr POA but many elders do not realize that a child of theirs would cheat them out of money-I wish the best for you.
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lonken Jul 2011
Definitely seek the advice of an attorney, preferrably one who has experience in geriatric issues. What your brother is doing is theft! Don't let him get away with stealing from your poor mother.
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jeannegibbs Jul 2011
Definitely see a lawyer asap. In late stage Alzeihmer's I don't know if she is competenet (legally) to sign a new POA, but that would be a quick way to get him out of her financial affairs and stop further eroding.

Perhaps once your brother realizes that you are trying to resolve this without getting him in a legal jam, he will be cooperative. Or not. It might help to have the lawyer explain it to him.

He may have seen this as a loan against his inheritence. He is not entitled to see it that way, of course, but perhaps a lawyer could arrange for it to work that way. For example, if he has "borrowed" $100,000, and each of the 3 of you will inherit $150,000, he would only get $50,000 and the extra $100,00 is split between you and your sister. That makes the inheritence equal -- each of you gets $150,000. He just took part of his early.

That still leaves the mess of fraud against the ssi program. I have no suggestions about that. Maybe the lawyer will. Perhaps he is going to have to use what ever he does inherit to pay back that income and penalties. I don't know. But you and your sister are entitled to your share.

See a lawyer!
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Helensw Jul 2011
thank you for your suggestions. I am going to try and revoke his Power of Attorney by hiring another lawyer and having my mom sign it to try and prevent his Access. I don't want to put him in jail. I just want the money back. Where can I find a financial investigator who would just investigate, not report mismanagement?
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Get the bank to get finacial investigator to look into the issue if your brother banks at the same place as your mom does. Yes then get investigator and alert the authorities of possible fraud with the property. You do have the right to recoup the money since it does ur mother finanical estate and if your brother is guilty of embezzling funds then he will find himself in Jail. You need to get hold of your mother's credit report and others to determine what else has been done. This is damaging especially if he thinks he can continue to get away with it and be on ssdi. Simply put he is embezzling and committing fraud against u and the family. Alert the proper authorities and get a stop on your mom's account from allowing him access. Freeze his access but GET HELP NOW . It is scary but you may have to think of the fact that if he is guilty u may lose ur brother in a criminal sentence and get a elder care lawyer. Just do something I do not want you to suffer anymore loss than you have now.
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