Follow
Share

My mom has been diagnosed with dementia and it has been suggested that we move her to assisted living. She will, barring unforeseen circumstances progress to a memory care facility. Many of the ones we have looked at (all of the best ones) don't take medicare. What do we do?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
My wife has had dementia for over 3 years. I have hired caregivers for 5-6 hours daily. people not involved with this care have no idea what toll it takes. I was healthy and thought getting help would help me also. Well, maybe it did but as time rolls on, the pressure grows. I finally ended in ER with complications from COPD, heart, kidney problems. These were not caused by caring for my wife but taking care of her exsacerbated (sp)my conditions and finally made me realize that she needed more care than I could give her. With help from my sons, we have placed her in a mem0ry care facility, which I avoided until it almost killed me. She has been there for 2 weeks in a group home, and is so much better off. My advise to people in this situation, don't wait too long and don't feel guilty for what will ultimately be better for everyone.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Regarding care for Alzheimer's patients: first contact a hospice care organization. Many people think they only deal with people in final stages of life. This is not true. Upon recommendation of your doctor they will provide many services to aid in care at home such as nurse visits, incontinence supplies, social services, bathing care, some prescriptions. This is not full-time care, it is meant to supplement whatever home care you are doing or hiring for, but it is a big help and the cost is covered by medicare.
I have been told by an elder attorney that if you have too much in assets to qualify for medicaid for your spouse, there are some methods to protect your assets and that one way is to convert your assets (stocks, bonds, etc.) into an annuity. I haven't done this yet as we still have long term care benefits, but they will soon run out. Does anyone have any suggestions to avoid getting wiped out financially by Alzheimer's. Also if you or your spouse is a veteran, there is an organization, which I believe is called Veteran Angels that can provide monthly payments.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Regarding the "Spend down until you qualify for Medicaid" : Some may think this is an unethical thing to do, or that it's cheating the system, but forcing someone to go broke before allowing them financial assistance is ridiculous. What I recommend is moving your parent's (or loved one's) assets into a trust with you (the caregiver) as the custodian. There's a legitimate reason for doing something like this, anyway, as your loved one's capacity for understanding financial decisions will decrease over time. At that point, they can claim few assets and apply for Medicaid. I did something similar when my father's Alzheimer's progressed and he needed assisted living.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

It's good to start with your local Area Agency on Aging or your state aging commission. They can lead you to how to apply for Medicaid which is how people without any assets can be placed for nursing home care.

Good luck with the process. If you have trouble doing it all yourself, call social services and ask how to get help.
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

where is a good place for dementia alltimers diesese, with not to much money
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Where or who do I go too for elderly care long term out of the home no mass health insurance is Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield no long-term health insurance what can I do too get placed into a Home a
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thank you JeanneGibbs for your detailed and thoughtful answer. My mom is already on Medicaid because of the crash she lost the last of her retirement and then we spent down so she could get the services she needs. It was a tough decision, but the right one.

I have called all the assisted living, nursing homes and AFH within an 1hrs drive of us and all want 2-3 yrs private pay first. I guess Minnesota is better than Washington on this.

My mom is in the moderately-severe stage of the Alzheimers and goes to the day care 2 days a week, which she enjoys but exhaust her so I am not sure if I can get her there 5 days. It is hard leaving her alone because she can unfortunately make bad decisions that we catch and correct. I am trying to see if I can get work from home, but it is hard finding that from scratch. Oh yes - I have a great caseworker and I do get paid to be her caregiver but it is only a small stipend, about 20% of what I used to bring home.

Thanks again for your reply. Just having others to talk to is helpful.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Minnesota is one terrific state for taking care of its own. I live right on the border and have a lot of "border envy." I wish all states would be as generous - am hoping that Washington is one of them.
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

MusicMom, does Mom have any assets at all? Insurance policies? Stocks, Bonds, property? Anything that could be sold? If she is on Medicaid I suspect that the answer is No -- she would already have spent down her assets. And I suspect that her monthly income is not enough to pay for a care home -- right?

What level of care does she need? What kind of care center are you looking for? Assisted Living? Group home? Memory Care? Nursing Home?

I don't know how it is in Washington, but in Minnesota it is not hard to find good Memory Care or Nursing Home facilities that accept Medicaid from day 1. It is harder to find Assisted Living Facilities that don't expect some private pay before they will accept Medicaid. They do exist, but they are harder to find. I don't have any experience with Group Homes.

Your profile says Mom has dementia. Except in the early stages, many persons with dementia need (or will need) more personal care than ALFs typically are set up to provide. Does your mother wander? Can she dress herself. feed herself, toilet herself? What does she need help with?

You are in a very tough spot. Ask her case worker for help in finding a suitable care center that accepts Medicaid. Also check with your state's Department on Aging.

Have you considered getting paid for your mother's care? If finances are the only obstacle, find out what kind of in-home help your mother is qualified for and see what you would need to do to be able to be her paid aide or caregiver. Again, talk about this with Mom's Medicaid case worker. The money may not be enough to meet your needs, and I realize that there may be other factors that are involved here. But it is worth checking out.

Another thing that Medicaid often pays for (at least in Minnesota) is adult day care. Mom would be picked up, taken to the center, given breakfast and a hot lunch, and returned home in the late afternoon. This arrangement allows some caregivers to work while their parent or spouse is safely looked after. It also provides some stimulation and socializing opportunities to the care receiver.

Explore all the options. If placing Mom is the best option, I sincerely wish you well in finding a good place that accepts Medicaid.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

So, my mom is already on Medicaid and she lives with us. I have to stay home full time to care for her. But, I need to go back to work full time to help support family and was looking for a home for mom. None will take Medicaid without 2-3yrs private pay first. Any ideas?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Alzheimer’s Cost of Care Management Idea ............Some Texas families are concerned about exhausting a significant portion of their assets due to long-term care expenses at home or in a facility. One tool to consider is a medically underwritten single premium immediate annuity designed to help fund the cost of an existing long-term care need with monthly payments guaranteed for life. No matter how long care lasts, this annuity can help maintain the level of quality care desired while at the same time protecting other assets from the costs associated with an extended care stay.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Each of us needs to be aware that we may get to the point of needing Medicaid. There is no shame in this. Unless you're one of the 1% that can afford to self-pay for LTC, or one of the (guessing here) 15-25% that never needs LTC, you WILL need to spend down all your assets in a LTC, and then accept Medicaid. It seems like it's better to move to a LTC facility which accepts Medicaid when you still have a couple years' worth of assets to be self-pay (check out their policies before moving there), and then pay their expensive rent until you have nothing left, and go on Medicaid. It's the way it works here in the US.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If she is in the hospital gut the social worker there to help you find a place. They know who takes what and can find a place with a bed available. They did for us when my fil needed that. The hard part is you can't accept responsibility for her if they want to discharge her from the hospital. If they want to do that you question will be can she be sent home alone in a taxi and left on her own if sent home? There answer will almost always be no, so your response is well if that can't happen she has to stay here or the hospital will have to find something. Very hard to do but may be necessary. Don't sign any paperwork that makes you responsible in any way for her and remember to get that hospital social worker working for you
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I hear ya. I think about my grandparents who scrimped and saved their whole lives to create a surprisingly large nest egg and almost all of it was gone by the end of their lives on medical expenses. It keeps families from ever accumulating wealth or property unless they are extremely wealthy to start with. It's almost a disincentive for people to save much if they are destined to end up on Medicaid in the end anyway.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

What a nightmare it has become for adult children of fragile elderly parents. Damn if you do and damn if you don't. Elderly care has become to much of a profit making booming industry. Wants to make you check out of life before diminished capacity burdens your own children. Even long term care insurance is no longer affordable, no profitable margin. Private insurance is secondary payer to those who have medicare thanks to governmental interest groups, the health care industy gurus. So much for the rights of free enterprise under the constitution, I don't think it meant to undermine an american citizen into impoversihment!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

if they are veterans or married to veterans..check into the VA.gov which has Aid and Attendance for our elderly. NO this is not an easy time or task for us the caregiver or for those we love. Take care. FB
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My momhas medicare part b and has dementia. I am looking for a long term facility for her. She needs to socialize with people. he refuses to stay by herself. She was put in the hospital brcause she does not eat. She forgets to feed herself but she will feed her cats I dont know what to do. She recently moved away from me and since then she has gotten worse. I sometimes think it is just separation anxiety. Do you have any ideas?
Helpful Answer (10)
Report

Some of the ladies in my home town chose to move to a continuing care community about 45 mins away. They knew most people would not drive that far to visit, but they knew that the ones who really cared would. I think we all want a home which is in our backyard, when in reality, there might be a spot a little further away that was out of our comfort zone.
We placed my mthr about 30 mins from home. I know that seems far, but it works out well for us. The important thing is that they had availability when we needed them. What a blessing.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Not all Assisted Living Facilities accept Medicaid, but some do. Some have a certain number of units built into their budget for accepting Medicaid, and those usually go to people who have been private-pay and then run out of money. Some nursing homes do not accept Medicaid, but most do.

I can believe it is VERY frustrating to hear over and over again that a place does not accept Medicaid. Keep searching ... you'll find one that does! To help narrow down the search try contacting the Alzheimer's Association in your area, and/or your state's Aging Care help line.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Try to find a nursing home with a memory care unit...then tell them you want to apply for long term care Medicaid for her stay..Rita,cmc
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Yes she has medicaid but as soon as you say medicaid.Sorry
we do not have a bed for you. Plus she needs memory care? I hope i never get this disease. This is soo sad. She doesn"t own anything.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

It is a sad truth, that no financial programs are out there to assist with payment for the elderly with Alzheimer's, dementia, or total care unless they have no assets with the exception of a few thousand dollars. At that time they can apply for Medicaid assistance. Yes you have to pay private pay (money out of the patients pocket) untill they become Broke basically,
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

AllisonBaham, the financial burden on top of everything else is crushing, isn't it? Have you tried applying for Medicaid for your mom?
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

cant find a place that will take my mom with AD. Don"t have the money for these special places. Dallas,Tx area. You need to be rich to care for these special people?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Medicare rarely covers assisted living or nursing home care. People are expected to pay their own way until they qualify for Medicaid, which is a program for the poor. Your mom's assets will have to be "spent down," meaning that she will pay her own way using all of her assets until she can qualify for Medicaid. Generally, people are then placed in nursing home care - in her case a memory unit.
Because individual states differ (even though Medicaid is a Federal program), you will do best to get local information from your local social services office. Another great resource in your long-term care ombudsman who can be found by typing in the Zip code at www.longtermcare.org. These people are very helpful and can guide you.
I will tell you for sure that your mom won't get this care paid for while she has the money to do so herself. If she has a lot of assets (house, cars, investments) you may want to talk with an elder law attorney for planning purposes.
Good luck,
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

does she qualify for Medicaid?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter