What can you do when your parent lets the sibling behaving badly into their home?
My husband has been caring for his mother over the past five years. She has dementia yet is still quite physically healthy and very demanding of her independence. She lives close by in her own home, with a full time live-in caregiver (whom she loathes and has “fired” a few times simply because she insists that she is perfectly healthy and doesn’t need ‘that woman living in my house”). My husband has the trust and POA in place, but the POA is not ‘enacted’ yet. He manages all of her financial and medical affairs, very well, and VERY honestly. His and my (I am just as involved in this) intentions are strictly for her best interest. WE are quite financially sound and have no time or desire to play the games that I read and hear so much about. It is all quite exhausting to say the least, but we are committed to her safety, health and welfare. His sister on the other hand, has always been the “bad seed” and always looking for the next handout. She has not worked in over a decade. Her most recent benefactor has left her, and so she has begun cozying up to mom for support. Mom does not remember how bad and opportunistic a person her daughter really is. She only knows that at this moment she needs to help her daughter who is in trouble, based solely upon the load of BS that she has been feeding her. With all of this, the sibling has also been filling mom’s head with lies about how WE are trying to steal all of her money. Obviously, this is exactly what SHE is trying to do. She has convinced mom to allow her to move back home, get rid of the live-in, and SHE will take care of mom. This is a ‘loving caring daughter’ who, despite living less than five miles away, has not seen her mother in almost a decade, and refused to come to the hospital when mom was found five years ago in her home (by us), when she took a terrible fall down her stairs, and we determined it was time for live-in care. SO, what do you do, when the parent is determined to allow the predatory sibling into their home? We are working as quickly as we can to get the doctor to initiate the ‘incompetency’ factor. But, this always seems to take longer than you need it to. My husband has tried to talk to his sister, resulting in absolutely no remorse or consideration for mom’s welfare. She is simply determined to get into the house, and thus begin the demise of mom’s health and assets. In the end, we will have to rehabilitate her again, if it’s possible, and when the money is gone, we will have to fund her care. The daughter will simply suck her dry, and then skip off to another.