dmky55 Asked December 2009

If my sister put our father in a nursing home do I have the legal right to take him home?

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EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack Dec 2009
This would likely depend on who, if anyone, has Power Of Attorney. A health directive (POA for health) may also come into play. It sounds like you have the same disagreement many families do. If you have a third party (good friend of your father, doctor or spiritual leader), this person may be able to help bring peace between you and your sister and figure out what is best for your dad.

Good luck. You sound like a loving person who wants the best for your father. Your sister likely thinks she is doing the same. Sometimes professional family mediation can help with this. You may want to read: https://www.agingcare.com/134376 about siblings and parent care.

Carol
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mstacks Jan 2010
Before you take him out of the nursing home you should SERIOUSLY consider why she put him in there in the first place. It might be helpful to talk to the head ward nurse there and see what she thinks about him living again in a home environment. As one of the people most in daily contact she might be able to give you her opinion of his daily actions even better than his doctors (who usually only see him when called) or other family members (who are admittedly emotionally biased).

Our family went through the same issue with my motherinlaw. After Mom spent a couple months in a local n.h. one daughter said she could take care of her at home so the other kids agreed to let her try. Unfortunately the daughter's family failed to help as much as expected/promised and Mom's altzheimers was getting worse. After only a few months at daughters home we were all forced to "confront" the daughter: she was pulling herself into too many directions! That was helping no one and only making daughter sick herself!

It was much easier on all of us when we simply put her in a small n.h. close to the one daughter - where she could go visit every day as much as she wanted, but without having the added emotional and physical pressure of doing it all and where were all welcomed with open arms by the entire staff any time we came. And Mom responded much better with that arrangement than she had been at her daughters home.

Please, Please, consider what your father actually needs, not merely what you and/or your siblings "want" for him.
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msdiva Jan 2010
ITS DURABLE POWER OF ATTORNEY
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Vickifisher Jan 2010
If she does not have power of attorney, he more than likely signed himself in. In that case, Yes - if he wants to go and if the doctor sees no medical reason for him being there.
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hapfra Jan 2010
Who is the person that has POA in this case? Has one been established? This definately sounds like a legal question to me. Can you ask the people in admitting-or direct it to your nearby council on aging...as they most likely will be able to walk you thru matters. The resolution can be somewhat confusing-but you seem to be receiving some very good advise here at this forum.

Good luck!

Hap
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Why do you think that your sister might put your dad in the nursing home?

Have you talked with your sister about your dad and why he might need to go to the nursing home?

We really need more information about your dad's health, where you and your sister are geographically in relation to your dad's location along with how able each of you are to realistically deal with all of this as well as what resources does your dad have to pay for going into a nursing home?
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roxlang Jan 2010
I can't seem to find a caregiver that is willing to give my father his insulin? Is there a reason why?
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robert888 Jan 2010
(1) Actually, neither your sister or you have any rights as daughters to your father unless he has signed a Power of Attorney when he was clearly without any dementia issues and then (2) a subsequent neurological consultation and finding from a physician to lack capacity. (3) If he has capacity then he is his own person and only persuasion matters. (4) If your sister has Power of Attorney and will put it into affect, you could alternatively apply for Guardianship. The person holding the Power of Attorney is not necessarily the same person as the court-assigned guardian.

That said, why not spend a few days to a week near the nursing home and visit him daily at various hours or for 24-hours in the nursing home if possible. It is likely a huge responsibility and tremendous amount of work to look after your father.

Maybe if your sister sees you are ready to take on all the legal, health and daily-living steps necessary, the "legal" issues won't matter.
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msdiva Jan 2010
WELL ITS REALLY DEPENDS ON THE D.P.O.A...DO YOU AND UR SISTER GET ALONG OK? OR ALL YOU TAKING HIM HOME FOR GOOD? IF THESE ARE THE CASE THEN I REALLY DNT KNOW..I KNOW ME AND MY BROTHER WERE both D.P.O.A. WITH MY FATHER, I WANTED TO DO ADULT CARE FOR HIM WHILE I WENT A OUT OF TOWN AND MY BROTHER WOULDN'T LET ME BUT ON THE OTHER HAND I COULDN'T GET ANY OF THE FAMILY TO WATCH HIM OVER THE WKEND ITS LIKE THEY DIDN'T WANT ME TO GO ANY WHERE SO I REALLY DNT KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU
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pamela6148 Jan 2010
What is DPOA? I already know what POA is.
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