My husband has a diabetic complication in his leg, but refuses to let doctors amputate it. He says he would rather die. What are my options?

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He is 60 years old.

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I would be SO mad at my husband if he put his vanity ahead of growing old with me. I would probably just save him the suffering of dying from an infection, and kill him outright.
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What are YOUR options? Shouldn't the question be: What are HIS options? Please honor his wishes. If he does not want amputation, he does not want amputation.
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I can see how losing a leg would be a great blow to my own husband's self-esteem and that he might despair of living any more. Ed's suggestion to do what you can to bolster your husband's self-esteem is a good one. Hadn't thought of that until I read his post. Reassure him of how loving and attractive he appears, and will always appear, to you. And how much you love him and need him.

If your husband isn't getting the proper emotional support he needs from his doctor, you might want to find a new doctor. In my own life, I have found that the doctor I have leading me through whatever health crisis I am experiencing ---makes a big difference in my level of hope for the future and ability to cope.
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VA:

Have you, after consulting various doctors of course, discussed with your husband what's going to happen if he doesn't agree? I don't think he's being "stubborn," but merely contemplating what his self-image and life will be like with just one leg. This man is supposed to be the love of your life, and he feels vulnerable right now. He needs reassurance ... from YOU, not really the doctors.

-- ED
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UPDATE: My husbands leg went septic, he is in the hospital, because of the infection and the diabetes, they say that he has heart damage, a heart attack while in the ER. He had no pain with the heart attack, the ER doc says that often a diabetic does not have chest pain, just chest pressure and shortness of breath, which is what he had. He has agreed to let them take the leg, but now he has to wait until the infection and his heart damage has healed somewhat, before they can do the surgery. Thanks again everyone!
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OMG, my husband has diabetes as well, and now we are noticing that it is becoming harder and harder to manage with medication, I hardly know alot of what I should to help him, as I have my sick mom and him to care for, but his meds arent helping anymore, I have to get him to the doctor, he may need insulin now, sometimes he forgets to take his meds, is constantly cheating the system, eatting HUGE bowl of icecream, and twinkies, and stuff he shouldnt! BUt I cannot control him, ( I applied for disability for him and medicaid) thats not true about the medicaid it only takes 3 months and thats all to make their decision, and I can tell u from what u have said that they will NOT refuse him. Try talking him, tell him that u dont care if he loses a leg! that u love him even if he lost his freaking head! Be gentile and try to get his fears out in the open, so it doesnt become to late to do anything about it! unfortunately this is something that cant be put on the back burner, til later, it progresses with a vengence, and I know I am going thru it, my husband also does very dirty work, and doesnt really concentrate on his hygiene as he should, and that is very important, especially when getting knicks and cuts that dont heal up fast etc............he also has a HUGE overproduction of yeast, which also comes with diabetes, we have tried everything, but now its time for the doctor! good luck in your plight, as I know its a hard one, and yes please let us know how things work out!!!!! what state are u in ? It may matter when doing medicaid, I am working on it as we speak for my mom, who is in a nursing home...................If I can at all be of any help let me know!!!!
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I'm not sure about all states but I was under the impression that if a person was deemed disabled by receipt of disability insurance, that they are then qualified for Medicaid under the 1619B status. You might also want to check with free clinics or your physician for prescription assistance. As far as your husbands decisions..he has the right to make poor ones. All you can do is make sure that he has accurate understandable information.
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Well, all I can say is you need to call him a big baby...there are thousands of amputees living a full active life with prosthtetic legs, arms, hands...I realize he is used to having his legs he was born with, but you need to lay before him how if he dies, he won't be able to be with his family anymore. If he DOES have to have his leg removed, (and agrees) then it should be cut where a prosthetic can be put on after it heals. I have seen blotch amputee jobs where the patient had to go back and have it cut AGAIN to be able to fit a prostheitc. My heart goes out to you, and your Dad, but sometimes tough decisions have to be made in this unfair world that we live in. Remind him, when the going gets tough, the tough get going.
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Thanks! Will do!
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Best of luck to both of you.

Remember to write any & all your ??'s down between now and the next appointment. Let us know how it goes.
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