My father is 79 with early stage dementia and has a problem with urinating on his pants. What should I do?

Asked by

He says its not incontinence and he gets to the bathroom just fine, but when he gets there, he just misses. I have tried talking to him about it, but he just says "I'll work on it" and nothing changes. He lives with me, but I can't always be there to change him. We have talked about him sitting down instead of standing and he says that should solve it, but then we he goes to the bathroom (even if we just got done talking about it) he still does it. I don't know what to do.

Answers 1 to 8 of 8
This could be a possible simple fix---I woud have him see a urologist-and see what it may possibly be-that is causing the problem-and what can be done to try to resolve the matter.


Purchase Depends For Men or the store brand, such as Kroger., Publix, Walmart, CVS, or Rite Aid. Put them on him everyday then work on the problem of getting to the bathroom on time.
Any aspect of incontinence is embarrassing for the elderly as it would be for anyone. It is even more embarrassing to them to have to talk to their children about it. I think your best bet is to talk to a doctor. That way, the doctor can determine if it is incontinence or another problem, and the doctor can be the one to explain to him how to fix the problem.
Making sure he does not have a UTI is a good place to start... is it possible he is not able to get his pants down fast enough maybe try elastic waist pants instead of zip and fasten... Wearing briefs such as depends can be humiliating but so can being wet... I would have a urinalysis done and then go from there, often if the prostate is enlarged that creates problems too... take care
Top Answer
Depends are thick and apparently feel so. So if there is any vanity issues they will just hate Depends. Also there's that whole"only women & babies wear any sort of padding down there" mindset......

For guys, Tena male guards are the best. They fit more like an sports guard. CVS carries them and you can get on-line. Not the solution to the problem but a way to lessen your clean-up issues.

Also agree with Jaye - go with him to urologist so that you hear what he is told.
If I understand your question correctly, he is urinating "on his pants" not "in his pants" And he does make it to the bathroom in time so he is not incontinent. I agree with Jaye. Either he is not able to open his fly properly or his flow is too weak to make it into the bowl so it is partially dripping downward onto his pants. Since he appears to be cooperating as best he can, there are two things you can do to help him. 1) Get a 16 oz water bottle and cut the bottom off so that he can pee into the bottle and have it run into the bowl away from his pants. Keep the bottle by the bowl so he can get to it easily. 2) Get him to an Urologist to find out why his flow is weak and what can be done about it.
I also agree with Igloo. This can be a very humiliating thing for a senior to deal with so forcing solutions like Depends should be the last resort. BTW--the pee bottle will work even better if you let him think it was HIS idea and approach it with some humor. ;-))
I have this plaque that I placed on the toilet tank cover for all to see, "We aim to please, so you aim, too, please."
If he is missing, the only thing I can suggest is to keep a pair of rubber gloves handy and a bottle of Antibacterial Lysol bathroom cleaner available at all times. If he sees you constantly cleaning up the area, he will probably work on hitting the target.
I don't think he is going to change his wardrobe at this point in the game, and if he is getting to the bathroom on his own, he would probably become angry or offended that someone would suggest it. All I can say is be thankful the mess isn't a trail starting in the bedroom, through the hall and into the bathroom. He at least keeps it confined to the area around the toilet.
I care for my 84 year old father...he also has an issue of not making it in the toilet...every time he uses the bathroom there is a lake in front of toilet...asked him to sit... He says he is a marine and he stands to pee....I need a solution to that as well as a cleaner to use on the floor, I love my dad but it's gross, got any input??? Thank you

Share your answer

Please enter your Answer

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support