How do I know if my dad is really ill or if he is just manipulating me?

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My dad had cardiac cath and all was fine. When I leave my kids with him he feels ill within days. Is he manipulating me or is he ill? The few things he does, he will do them in such slow motion. I can't tell if he is having a hard time with it. He will tell me how much the dogs gave him a fit, or the kids wouldn't calm down. Like he's trying to guilt trip me for working. I call him every morning from work to check on him. He usually isn't awake when I leave in the morning. I'm exhausted doing everything myself and would quit work to take care of him but I'm suporting my kids myself. Don't know what to do

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Nice hair girl! Hope it's you.

LIV:

How long ago did he have he have that cardiac cath? If it was recent, your kids are probably stressing him out. Old age can also be a factor here. In addition, some people assume that grandparents love spending time with their grandkids. Sometimes it makes them feel young, sometimes they drive them crazy.

I'm 50 and have three 4 1/2 y/o tearing my house up 4x a year; they touch everything -- especially when you tell them not to. I love them to death, but can't stand them for more than 1/2 hour. Kids at that age have an attention span of 5 minutes at the most, so you have to have plenty of activities planned just to keep them from revolting and keep you from doing things you really don't want to do -- but will if you have to.

I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with him. Ask him what he truly feels. People are constantly demanding honesty from us, but when we give it to them they don't know what to do with it. He probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings after all you've done for him. So please me gentle with your questions.

-- ED
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How old is your dad? where is your mom? how old are your kids? Does he have a pattern of being a drama king, or in your experiences has he always been sincere? aare you an only child?

I believe there are teletale signs that alert us when something is wrong. My mom kept telling me that no one knows how sick she was and when she had her stroke, she looked up at me and said "we should have been spending more time together all along". Bam!! that came out of nowhere but I really could have spent more time. Now I have little choice and the time spent together isn't the same.

I would have him examined before anything serious happens then you can determine for yourself the answer to your question. It's the right thing to do.

But please tell us more about your dad.
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