deevmom Asked April 2010

My brother stole $2 million from my mother who has dementia and now she is running out of money. What can I do?

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She did not give him the money but I can't prove that. He is still living with her.

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dzyjne Sep 2013
I have a mother in law (now 80) has Alzheimer's as a result of a fall last fall. She has 2 children, both male. Her youngest son has POA for health and finances because he is the "banker in the family". About 10 years ago, the house where she lived was placed into an LLC-she sold the house to my husband and his brother. About 5 years ago, her home was sold, at closing there was $266K. At the time of sale, my husband and I found there was 3 liens against the home totaling $244K. When my mother in law bought the home, it was paid with cash from the death proceeds of the their father. The youngest son, took loans out against the home to build his mcmansion. So, in order to have the liens lifted at closing, he took the money and placed them into a CD to be held as collateral for one year against the other loans he took out. In addition, he stated that my husband received $76K as a disbursement from the sale of the home noted on a K-1 form and they told us, the closed the LLC out without telling my husband. We did not receive any dollar amount what so ever. So my brother in law and his wife lied to the IRS. Thirdly, I needed to refinance my home, as a result of a lay off- I bought before I married the eldest son and the service provider stated there was a disbursement of $76K we took that was filed from a K1 form, I needed to disclose. I requested from my brother in law as to where the money went, I was called names and he refused to provide me with documentation. So as a result, I lost my home, my kids could not receive college financing and it has affected my ability to find work in my trained field. The money is all gone that was intended to pay for moms care. My mother in law is renting an apartment in an independent living community on the 4th floor. My brother in law refuses to buy the life line system because of cost. Over the past few months I have seen a marked decline in my mother in laws health, she falls all the time, she is shaking terribly, she has a walker, but can barely use it without tripping over it. Shes in bed by 7pm or at least in PJs by 6pm laying in bed. She can barely put a shoe on, her clothes on or even use the bathroom without it taking a half hour to pull up her pants. As far as eating goes, she gets one meal a day from the kitchen, she has now resorted to frozen meals or sandwiches for other meals or splits the meal received in half and makes 2 meals because she cant cook for herself like she used to. By brother in law is trying to get past the look back period so he doesn't have to disclose where all the money went. He and his wife are both corporate commercial and residential lenders for 2 major banks in the city where I live and know how to work the system. I want my mother in law evaluated for nursing home placement. She has become just short of a hermit where she lives. My husband doesn't do anything or say anything to his brother, cause he doesn't want to upset him. I am just beside myself in what to do for his mother but also I want them to disclose where the hell the money went. I need to help my mother in law...Help!!
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Get a credible estate attorney. They can work miracles, and are familiar with consequences, and the law. My boss has a lawyer that has her private practice as an estate attorney, and serves as a Judge in Family court. She's awesome, and doesn't take any crap like this!
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Foxysr Mar 2013
Once again file charges of embezzlement, because adult financial abuse will not get prosecuted. Once you have criminal charges you can also sue and that also works vice versa. You need to act now. in these cases you do not have the luxury of time for what ifs and speculation.
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mysweetcat Jan 2013
MY SISTER IN LAW TOOK MONEY FROM MY MOMS CHECKING ACCOUNT(THAT HAD ONLY MY MOMS NAME ON IT)I WHEN TO PROTECTED SERVICES..THEY ARE GOING TO LOOK INTO IT THEY ARE SAYING THAT IT IS FRAUD..GOOD LUCK..
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The POA carries out the wishes of the parent. It does open the door to handling the parents financial assets easily such as paying bills, withdrawing money, managing investments, etc. The POA is also privy to healthcare information and cam make decisions in the event the parent isn't able to. However in both financial and healthcare situations the POA must do as the parent wishes unless the POA goes through the legal process of declaring the parent incompetent. It would not be possible to assist my mother in these areas without it.
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Bobbi Jun 2010
Would be very interesting to see bank records. Was the money transferred? Did someone write a check??? There has to be a paper trail somewhere. 2mill doesn't just get up and walk away.
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tennessee May 2010
I'M dumb about the POA,but does that not give you the right to take it out of her hands and manage her money and if it doesn't what good is haveing POA-just asking?
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It sounds as though you've done your homework. My mom has dementia and my 62 year old brother persaudes her to give him large amounts of money also. Although I am power of attorney, I'm unable to convince my mother that she needs to conserve her assets for her future health care. Because I am unwilling to declare mom incompetent, I just sit back and watch this happen. My mother spent her entire life working and sacrificing to save her money so that she wouldn't be a burden to her four children in her old age. Now that the dementia is causing her to have very poor judgement, her assets are at risk due to her own son. What is the moral of this common story?
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deevmom May 2010
My brother has no money anymore. He gambled it all away and is forced to live off commissions he makes as a car salesman because he hasn't paid taxes since 2005. He has no money to give back to the IRS. If he did you'd better believe I'd be after him too. I have had legal advice about all of this, spending my own money, not Mom's. There is nothing to be gotten from the wretch.
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My original point was that when your Mom runs out of money and needs nursing home care, Medicaid will investigate the history of the estate over the last few years and require your brother to give any money back to provide for her care.
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