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Whether you and your mother are living together or not, you should get paid. The fact is that if your brother were to hire a full-time CNA or nurse or even a companion for your mother he would have to pay that person. Perhaps he feels that because you are "her child" that you shouldn't get paid. Leave town for a couple of weeks and let him do it. I would bet he would see how much you deserve to get paid then. In all seriousness though, caring for an elderly parent is tough. It is a very difficult and often thankless job. It takes your time, your gas and often times even money from your own pocketbook. If your brother will not help you (which he absolutely should) call your local Department of Elders which usually comes under city services for the elderly or the Mayor's office. Or call your state office for the elderly or social services. There are programs out there that pay caregivers. In Massachusetts, for instance, there is the Adult foster Care Shared Living Program. There is also the PCA (Personal Care Attendant program). You can Google "how to get paid for taking care of my elderly loved one in..." whatever state you are in. Someone who cares for their elderly parent does all of the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, doctors appointments, etc., not to mention putting up with abuse and accusations. You absolutely should get paid. You can also call a home health care agency and ask them what their workers are expected to do, write it all down in a list adding any extras you may do. Also write down the actual number of hours per day that you are with your mother. If you do not have a job, let your brother know that this is your job and if you were doing for anyone else they would pay you. I am a Certified Nursing Assistant by profession. I get paid approximately 12+ dollars per hour for doing what I do for anyone I might do it for. Private care could be more or it could be less depending on the person's ability to pay and how they pay (out of pocket or via insurances). Eldercare really is not a whole lot different than child care accept you actually do more because there is house work, shopping, etc., involved. I probably repeated myself many times over. I take care of my mother full time and my brother is POA. I am very blessed in that he is a great support for me and he sees to it that I have money whenever I need it. He does recognize the difficult of what I do and that fact that I have other responsibilities. He also realizes that if I were anyone else other than my mother's daughter and his sister I would get paid. Good luck to you. (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

Stacey
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If your mom is living with you, she can pay you room and board. Supply a receipt to her for every payment and make sure you include it in your taxes. You have every right to get payment for what you are doing, and room and board is a legitimate way to go. Hope this helps.
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I have POA for my mother and I pay my sister for caring for my mother. She takes her to all of her doctor appts., to church, to the grocery store, prepares all of her meals and checks on her daily. She keeps a log of what she does and I pay all of her bills from my mom's bank account online, so there is a documented trail of where the money goes. My attorney said that I can set up a trust for my mother in case she needs to go into a nursing home and apply for Medicaid. She will have some money for personal incidentals that way. It is a slippery slope, but with documentation as to where the money goes, you should have no problems.
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Stacy you are right on-she should tell her brother he has one week to find a replacement for her or start paying where I live it is about 25 dollars an hr. and some of the aides were so lazy most of the care was left for me to do after they left.
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Good advice from all of you, I'd say, so Jeanina, it looks like you have lots of ways of setting your brother straight. Also, there are two levels of power of attorney; it is my understanding that a doctor would have to have declared in writing that your mother is incompetent to handle her own finances before your brother has total power. If your mother is still competent, then SHE still has the right to say how much she wants you to be paid. If SHE thinks you should be doing it for nothing or she does not have enough money to pay you, then that is a totally different problem and all your mothers' children should pitch in equally to pay for her care by either you or others. If she has been declared incompetent and your brother will not pay you what you deserve for the care of your mother, then I think 195Austin has a darned good idea. Your brother would soon find out how valuable your work is. Good luck and keep us all posted, please.
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Sounds to me your brother wants to keep the money from dwingling (sp)away so his share will be more at the end and you are doing all the work. I think this is so typical..especially with men, because most of them aren't nurturing. I agree...let him take a turn or better yet insist that part of the time if he doesn't want to be hands on make him pay for the care half the time. Believe me, when something happens to her and he has POA the tables will turn even worse.... You will probably get thrown under the bus. God love you...take care!
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Take a stand. Tell him that if he doesn't compensate you, you will no longer do it and he will have to hire someone.
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Back out and let your brother hire someone to provide the same quality care that you are providing to your Mother, for the same amount of time. I'll bet he wont like what he has to pay.
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I have my mother who I'm her paid PCA though the mass health program. I now need to make some of her decisions for her and don't know which way to turn. Can I still be her PCA and apply for guardianship or power of attorney
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