My Mother's caregiver of 2.5 years has just been diagnosed with aggressive terminal cancer. How can I help my mother deal with the hurt she is feeling?

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My Mother is 92 and lives with me and my husband. Her caregiver of 2.5 years has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer; very agressive. She has been a big part of our family for over two years. My Mom asks for her every day; throughout the day. I haven't even been able to think about trying to find someone else and have taken some time off of work. How can I best help my Mom. So far I've just told her that she's sick and is going to live with her son. She is hurting and I want to help her.

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Thanks so much to all of you! I can't tell you how much just hearing from you guys has helped me this minute. It's so good to know that there are good people out there that are so ready to help!!
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so sorry - i would tell her the truth and who ever watches her next make sure they expose her to americas funiest videos and music therapy - i have had my mom for 10 tens days and she went from crying and shaking all day= walking around at night at my brothers to laughing all day and sleeping through the night- i play music from the 60's she cant talk very good but she remembers the words - also i have a granddaughter that comes over 3-4 hours a day - laughter is the best medicine - good luck
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Thanks Jaye, next month I am 5 years BC survivor.
Losing my hair from stress now.
respite care is available through hospice, however having it avail., and having mom go there is a Dif story....
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goinnutz, don't forget to take care of you!!! I got sick in the fall and had to be in the hospital for 3 days... My parents 85 and almost 83 were so scared... I sure did not mean to do that to them. My Father was crying... bless his heart, he even told me he loves me. I have always known it however he dosen't tell me often. Can you get some respite care that can be really helpful... take care, J
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I agree with jaye, the truth is best, perhaps your mother can play some small part in a support system for the poor and I'm sure "really scared" caregiver right now. Perhaps you can explain to mom that her beloved caregiver herself is in need of careherself now and that you will do your best to find a new caregiver to help out with mom. Just a thought, scares me though, because I now wonder what My mom would do If I got sick.,,
good luck
~Nutz
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I would explain what is happening. No doubt she will feel badly and will cry. Just listen and reassure her. We all know that loved ones and friends dying is part of life. It is hard to find someone I wish you well, take care, J
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