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My 74 yr old Mom just came home after having a stroke and heart attack, she will yell at me for no apparent reason, is this normal?

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my mom changed after being in hospital for gall bladder .they did not know what was hurting her stomach . the very first overnight stay she changed - lost her memory- seems like dememtia -nothing wrong until that day- so sorry -hope she gets better-my mom not mean just scared- i hate it-feel sorry for her- we watch funniest videos a lt -makes her laugh- listen to elvis- she cant handle any violence-she used to watch law and order but cant handle it anymore-----my husband is going nuts cuz he likes violent movies-i dont - anyway- if my mom was mean -i woul put her in a home----i told my kids if i am mean put me in a home -dont want them to live like that -hope she gets nicer
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certain types of anesthesia can cause problems too
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My dad had a stroke 20 years ago. He did this as well, and still does 20 years later. It isn't as often as it once was, but it's still there. The doctors couldn't find any thing wrong with him, and up till 2 yrs ago he was healthy as a horse, paralyzed side/communication challenges excluded. It was very stressful for our family, and we went through a long period of thinking it was us or something we were doing or weren't doing. Even though we figured out eventually it isn't us for the most part, we still feel bad when he does it. It could be so many things from frustration to dementia a bit, hard to tell because every stroke victim is different. The spell usually happens just out of the blue for my dad. Sometimes he yells even when he is alone in the yard. Sometimes he will go out to the front yard and yell, and sometimes he will get right in front of one of us and let loose.
Here is what my family does when our dad goes awry:
1. If it happens in front of us, we don't stop what we are doing, but we do tell him (sometimes loud over his yell) that everything's okay and we love him, several times over but not in a mean way. That doesn't stop the episode, but it does quiet him down. Sometimes he might cry a bit, too, and then we pat him on the shoulder. We found if we stopped what we were doing and went to him, he would get angry or even hit. Your mom might not, but my dad does.
2. If he is outside or away from us, we let him be until he calms down. We keep an eye on him. He never has hurt himself or others when he is outside yelling, but we never know. Then we go and ask him if he needs anything after he has settled down. He usually says no and is himself again by that point, sometimes I think he doesn't even remember what just happened.
He hasn't ever lost it in public, though, so it is probably all about us! (Just kidding). The important thing we all learned over the past 20 years is that our dad had new behaviors, new frustrations, and new ways of doing things after his stroke. He lost the ability to speak and write much, so we had to learn gestures and sounds he could make for things along with him. Some of his new behaviors are quirky to us, but we have learned to live with it just as he has. Hang in there and hope this helps...
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Strokes can bring on dementia - a vascular dementia. Even without that, a personality change should be looked into. This is very hard to handle from the caregiver end, but is often something the person who had the stoke can't help.

Getting some support for the caregiver can be crucial.
Carol
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she is no doubt frustrated like you... try to be understanding... Do you have any help??? A homecare aide could be helpful talk with the Dr and see if you can arrange some relief. Also I would encourage you to look for a caregiver support group. Check with your local Area Agency on Aging... take care, J
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Like ezcare and puzzles already mentioned, yes it's prossibly due to her recent health problems. Perhaps her brain/hearing was damaged and she's yelling because she can't hear herself as well as before. She may have also suffered a kind of brain damage that alters behavior/personality.
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Cathy,
In a word: YES.
But you should still inform her doctor since this may indicate that her blood pressure is still elevated or her medication needs adjustment.
Don't assume that she is taking her medication and eating the proper foods. Help her with these even if she protests that she doesn't want your help. Recovery from a stroke and heart attack does not happen overnight. Your mom has to do her "homework"
Also, keep in mind that she is not being herself when she yells at you so do not take any of it personally. Keep your sense of humor because you will need it.
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How severe was her stroke... is she paralyzed... has her speech been affected... maybe her hearing has been affected...

If any of these changes have occurred after her traumatic experience, she is probably frustrated, depressed and afraid.

Step into her shoes... you may find the answer.
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If this is new behavior, she may have suffered brain damage that is causing dementia. It could be any number of things, but her doctor needs to be in on this. There may be medications that can help.

You need a break, too. Go to your state Web site under aging services and look for their version of The Family Caregivers Support Program.

Carol
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