My mother-in-law has last stage dementia and lives in an assisted living home. My husband is feeling tremendous guilt for placing her there. Is guilt normal?

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At first he would make 2 - 3 day visits. Then it went to 1 - 2 times a month since the facility asked him not to visit so often because she got angry/violent afterwards. She has recently had several seizures and her health is detiorating. It is difficult for him to see her at all. I am now starting to go once a week to visit so that she is not alone. Is guilt normal...and what can be done for it?

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Guilt is very normal and "unearned." You are right to visit. Your husband needs to accept the fact that this move was for her safety and in her best interest. You are both still caregivers - you just got help. If he can't come to terms with that, a counselor may be needed. Many people need some help to adjust to this.
Carol

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