My mom is my dad’s full-time caregiver. She promised that she wouldn’t put him in a facility; however, her health is declining now from taking care of him. What can she do?
My dad has Parkinson's Disease, along with a lot of other health issues. He's in constant pain, and is wheelchair bound. Dad is up all night due to the pain, etc, and needs help going to the bathroom, turning in bed, etc. Mom is the primary care giver, 24/7. She promised dad a long time ago that she would never place him in a facility. Needless to say, mom gets close to no sleep every night. Her health is declining as a result of her taking care of him. I've offered to come on a friday night to help, as I can't be awake and go to work. I was turned down, because dad wouldn't feel comfortable for me taking him to the bathroom, and I wouldn't know what to do. Mom is rapidly becoming frustrated, and I'm afraid somewhat nasty as a result.
Eventually, mom will need a surgical procedure due to all the lifting she has to do with dad. I stop by every day after work, and on the weekends, and run some errands for them, as mom can't always run out.
I've gotten Hospice involved, but they don't help out at night. In order to get some help at night, we'd have to get a private nurse. My folks, financially can't afford it, and unfortunately, with two children in college, I can't either. The hospice people have suggested respite care, where they would place dad in a facility for a week, so that mom could get some rest. But mom has refused.
I guess aside from venting, I'm looking for ideas and or suggestions. I'm considering the health of both my parents. I'm at whit's end, as I don't know where to turn for help. We're all stuck between a rock and a hard place.
In between it all, I have to see my physician to see if I need anti anxiety or anti depressants because of all this. How do you tell your parents this?
I appreciate any help or suggestions anyone has to offer.