How do I make wise decisions for medical care?

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One of my mother's doctors has gone on to a teaching position or something like that. Anyway, the doctor that left his place bounced into the room at Mom's next visit, never introduced himself, looked at the paperwork and said, "You need an operation, you need an operation..ha ha ha ...???????? What doctor does that? Now he has tried two times to send my mother to other doctors despite the fact that Mom doesn't want an operation (no symptoms) and to me is treating her like a specimen to be shared with other doctors because she has good insurance. My Mom is 95 and she and I are tired of going to more and more doctors. It is stressful and she is in reasonable good health. They found a large gall stone (which cannot pass and isn't causing pain), they say she needs a bone scan. Well, I want to talk to her regular doctor first. Does anyone else have this kind of problem? I don't want to not take her if she needs a doctor, but I am not going to take her the rounds to make someone money and fill up their appointment calendar.
Thanks for your input.

Answers 1 to 4 of 4
Expert Answer
3930 helpful answers
I would find another doctor. She's 95 and he wants tests and surgery when she has no pain? I don't get this at all. Please try to get her in to a geriatrician who cares for older people. If she has a diagnosis that would suggest possible surgery, though she doesn't want the surgery and it would likely be dangerous for her at her age, then palliative care (comfort care), or hospice care, as mentioned, is a wonderful option. No matter what her prognosis is, this doctor doesn't seem tuned into elderly patients. I'd get her away from him soon.
Take care, and thanks for being so caring!
Your mother has every right to refuse medical care. You may want to talk to a hospice type doctor/nurse and look into palative (spelling?) care. It is when someone is nearing the end of their life and they just want to be comfortable and not accept anymore curative care. Hospice has come a long way from being only for people on their death bed. They may be able to direct you to the right type of health care professional.
My husband,82 and his brother, 93 and both have mild dementia had the feeling of something in their eye and rubbed it and both had the simple surgery this year to keep the lower lid from turning in. Was in hospital but took 10 min operation. Took more time getting into surgery w/ gown etc. If this is the eye problem think it's a good idea.
I would follow what Carol says she is very wise and gives good advice -I would find another doc if you are in a group just call their office and ask for another. I have a small cyst on a finger and my doc said I will send you to a surgeon who will operative I said what if we leave it alone-I have RA and OA and lots of other problems and do not want my joints worked on-he said without surgery it will stay the same that was years ago-in this day and age some docs still are knift happy-my mother is 93 and her doc wants her to have eyelid surgery-no? well how about a coloncospy-she has no signs or symonths-this s the doc who thought it was great she was still driving with eyesight and hearing problems.

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