susan26 Asked December 2012

Is lying and fibbing normal?

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we have all noticed that my FIL fibs - A LOT!

they are not huge lies, but my FIL of 89 does it often.

we have been watching him, and its almost as if he is being smug when he lies, as in ' i dare you to tell me differently'. He seems to take great delight in fibbing, which is really strange for us. They are definitely not memory related lies, more a blatent disregard for the way we do things and then fibbing about them.

We have all realised that if i ask or explain something, it gets ignored, so my husband does all the asking/explaining.

is this normal? the fibbing, not the ignoring bit .... :-):-)

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jeannegibbs Jan 2013
It sounds pretty harmless so far ...
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susan26 Jan 2013
it really seems like he knows what he is doing .... but, he struggles to hide the glee when he thinks we have fallen for it. so very interesting to observe.
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jeannegibbs Dec 2012
If he is fibbing and he knows he is fibbing (and it sounds like he does) he may be cognitively "normal." If he is losing the ability to tell reality from fantasy then the fibbing may be a sign of moving beyond mild cognitive impairment.
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Have you ever trying lying or fibbing back somewhat ridiculously to see how he responds? perhaps he thinks its his form of humor or kidding around? I kid with my mom who has Alzeimers all the time, and try to exaggerate enough that she knows I am kidding, to make her laugh. Not sure its what your going thru, but perhaps if you do it back you can see what kind of response you get from him?
I have been telling my mom and wife I want to buy a single seat experimental helicopter, and they both think I am crazy and will kill myself in it. its been a running joke in the house that makes my mom laugh, so I enjoy hearing her laugh and say outrageous things to make her laugh.
Example: the other day we were in the car and I had to stop at the gas station and asked my mom (who has early to moderate dimentia and alzehimers) if she needed anything from inside the gas station. she said no..... I then said " you want a pack of cigarettes? " (she hasnt smoked in 30 years. She knew I was kidding and laughed, then came right back with "NO, I want some Cigars" and them my wife, me and my mom all laughed togther...... I just try to kid/lie in ways to be funny to my mom and make her laugh cause she knows its to outragous to be true..
anyhow, maybe fibbing back in a way he knows its a fib might help you learn something about the situation........
BTW, I dont know anything about taking care of someone with these problems, and just learning one day at a time and used people like:
Department of Aging
Local Alzheimers Assoc.
to give me some guidance and some lists of care givers and other things we thought might help us, so if what I suggest seems stupid, I apologize in advance, as I am just trying to help make a small suggestion that would work on my mom I think.....
God Bless you and your family and good luck....Hang in there.........We all feel for you.
regards
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