Is it considered elder abuse or elder neglect?


I have a brother that has helped in the past but says he's done. There's 5 of us siblings caring for my father. 2 of my brothers got in a argument about dads care. And 1 of them says he's done. (is that elder neglect?) It's along story and now the others say they won't cover his days, so I'm stuck doing them. I have plans on going on vacation and they say they won't cover my days either. My wife and I worked 35 years for retirement, (I retired 2 years ago and she retired 1 year ago) and for the past 2 years I have done rotating days with all of them, 24 hr shifts. Before I retired it was 1 night a week and my only day off during the week. I have been doing my share of dads care, I think we deserve the time. I have printed lots of material from this site to give to them as far as Home Care and Assisted living. And 2 of them refuse to even read it. Would it be elder abuse or elder neglect if I just went on Vacation. I'm not saying I quit, I just need some time away.

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Since they all knew about your vac I am sure I would let them know you are still going that leave 4 of them to sort it out maybe it is time to think about placement that should get their attention because that will take care of any inheritance they might have been planning on I would call social service in your county and tell them about this if he is not able to be on his own social service will probably get involved and it will bring things out in the open there is no reason why it all gets put on you -he has 5 children ont one -if you give in now it will become your job for years to come. They have options hire an aide for while you are away or have social service getting involved and being repirted to APS is no fun even if you have done nothing wrong as I was.
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What condition is your father in? If he's bedridden and requires someone there 24 hrs a day to feed, change, bathe, medicate, etc him, then leaving him alone for 3 weeks while you go on vacation could indeed subject you and your other siblings to abuse/neglect.

Tell your siblings if they're unwilling to stay with him while you're gone on vacation, they need to chip in the money to hire an aide to stay with him during that time.

Do you need their approval and/or financial aid to put him in assisted living? If not, you may need to find a place for him and move him in yourself, if there's money and/or medicaid/care available. It is not fair to you to spend all your retirement time taking care of him while your siblings cop out.
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