BGB Asked April 2011

My grandmother is eating very little and sleeping very little. Is she giving up on life?

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My grandmother is coming August she'll be 90. when i started taking care of her she was about 175lbs/she now 130 lbs he just said give her what she wants if she'll eat. she has gotten to the point she eats very little, sleeps very little, don't want to be washed up, she lost her only sister 2 years ago this coming May and has been going down hill every since. i think she good when it come to remember things. but don't want to do much of anything anymore. and if you try and get her to move around, walk just do something it a fight, she know how to tell you to back off, she becomes angrey. so just make sure i have food for her if she eats it or not, i make sure she clean everyday, but she has started to to strange thing. the other she took a poop in her bedroom trash can and then told me she did not do that, all this after i had her sit on the torlet for about hour. for the last few months she just talk about her family that she grow up with and talks about how tried she is, she told me i would understand it. she feel like the life has been sucked out of her and she ready to go because she has no family, she don't count her kids, grandkids. they are not her family. i told her we are and she said she know that but it not the family see came up with. Is she giving up on life.

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eating...it could be her dentures or teeth trouble her. I feed Mom now only protein Ensure shakes mixed with yogurt...add coconut WATER for electrolytes. I mix in a benefiber powder and a Ducolax powder which has an expandable polymer. These two keep things pretty regular in the poop dept. I also add juices, vitamin c powder in the fruity mixes, coffee sometimes. She might drink something tasty like that. She might need antidepressant.
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Nataly1 Apr 2011
I often hear from the elderly how they are just "tired"...tired of living, tired of fighting, tired of moving... and just want to be left alone. Wanting to be with "real" family is not unusual- the people who we grew up with and cared for US when we are younger- not the other way around. When her sister passed away she lost the last thread to the people who "knew" her. As for going to the bathroom in a bucket- years ago that's what people did- not everybody had indoor plumbing or a private bathroom on every floor. If she has given up the will to live there isn't much you can do other then to tell her how much you love her and will miss her when she's gone. Just keep doing what you're doing. God bless.
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Jennie Apr 2011
If she's not getting enough calories from her diet, of course she has no energy. She is probably malnourished, as well as depressed. My grandmother got terribly constipated not too long before she died, and wanted to eat nothing but Reese's Cups. (Don't we all! Ha!) She had a stroke not too much later. You should consult with her doctor about her nutrition, any digestive trouble, any future apparent memory trouble, and depression. Try to introduce any little thing into her life that you think might catch her interest. Make sure she gets some sunlight , fresh air, and springtime.
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NancyH Apr 2011
My mother-in-law is the last one in her family now. And when I say that, it's how she sees it, with her mom, dad and brothers all dead now. It is depressing when you think of it, being the sole survivor in your family and just waiting to die? So if she is thinking what I just said is correct, then you could be right, she could be just giving up. The pooping in the trash can is weird, and maybe there's something medically wrong there, but everything else sounds like she's just depressed and having a major pity party. Maybe you can give her something else to think about other than herself. A change of scenery, or a new hobby or interest? When she fights with you and says no, tell her that if she'll agree to do this thing with you once, you'll stop bugging her about it in the future.
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