I have POA. Can legally make my father move in with me? He is not mentally incompetent just physically can’t take care of himself.

Asked by

He has lung cancer and cant do everyday tasks. He cannot live alone anymore, but he refuses to move in with anyone. He feels I should quit my job, leave my family and my home to stay with him. We have no funds for in home help. And as of yet we have no other family stepping up to volunteer to move in with him. I live 7 hours away. I really do not want to take on the job of being his care giver, but I will do it becasue he is my father. (I did not know him until I was an adult.)I do have a POA. If he does not come stay with me or find some one to live with him the state is going to step in and make him go to a home. I have had a social worker tell him this over and over. But he REFUSES my help. If the state does come and take him to a home am I legally responsable for his actions? I know I will be for the financial part. If he refuses to leave can I be held accountable for his bad behavior?

Answers 1 to 3 of 3
Expert Answer
3930 helpful answers
Unless he is considered by a court to be incompetent, which doesn't seem to be the case here, you shouldn't be held accountable if he won't let you help in the way you can. Making him move, even if he will, would likely be a disaster for you and your family. He has a right to make decisions. If the state steps in, well, that's a decision he made. You may want to check with an elder law attorney to settle your mind on your own obligations.
Take care,
Power of Attorney does not obligate you personally in a financial or legal way for his activities unless he is deemed not competent UNLESS you co-sign for his admission (medical facilities are inserting language that sometimes is hard to find that will obligate family members for patient if non-payment issue). My question to you is why he is expecting you to give up your life to ENABLE him to live where and how he wants despite its possible bad effects on you. Saying you will do whatever he wants "Because he is your father", if you didn't know him until you were an adult, has a different connotation to me. Care for others should be balanced with care for oneself and one's own family. Please consider talking with the social worker about the possible effects of moving this person closer to you if he has such a narcissistic approach to your life. I hope that you remember your family is more than just your father. Hugs, Helen
Don't sign anything!!!! Check your state for fillial obligation laws. You may not be liable for any of his actions. POA only means you CAN act on his behalf, not that you must.

Share your answer

Please enter your Answer

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support