Hello, first timer here. I have both my parents that live next door, and I don't know how to deal with them. I feel like I constantly gripe and bitch at them, we can never have a normal conversation. They used to be smart and kind, they used to love one another and were easy to love. But no longer. I get an early morning update on all their bodily functions or the lack of. Then they proceed to tell me what the other has said or done to hurt their feelings. They exhaust me. They are not that old 70 & 68. My parents both have COPD, they both smoke, and do so with their oxygen on. I've told them soooo many times how dangerous and deadly it is and I can tell the tune me right out, and they say they 'forget'. We had a nurse come over and explain how dangerous it is and they act like it's all new information to them...and then she looks at us like why didn't you tell them? My aunt lives with them and is their primary caregiver, which to them means she does everything for them, they never leave their recliners. It's constantly, 'get me this', 'hand me that', 'while your up' or 'when you get up again'! It drives me crazy!!! And today I asked them if they actually got up anymore and they looked like I had slapped them across the face. I pray every time I start up to their house for God to help me hold my tongue, and to be a nicer, kinder person, and to have more patience with them, but I'm there 30 minutes and boom! There it is! I hate the person I am around them. And then I hate the person I am when I come home and tell my wonderful husband what they said or did. I feel like all I do is complain about them. My Mom is a diabetic, that believes that her diet has nothing to do with her diabetes, she says hers is"stress" related. She's 5' 1, weighs 300lbs, and has a daily diet of cakes, cookies, and candy. Her blood sugar is usually around 260 and she says it's a good reading. And that with the Humalog & Lantus injection twice a day. In the past couple of years we spend a least 6 to 8 weeks in the ICU with one or the other, from COPD related illnesses. Carbon Oxide or Dioxide(which ever) poisoning usually sends us to the ER then off to ICU. Two weeks ago Mom, goes in for that reason, and signs herself out the next day, she said WE went sent her there for no reason. So now we are in hospice care, because she refuses to go back to the hospital ever again. I'm on pins & needles, be it, a phone call, ( and yes I get urgent calls 'We need you really bad! Right now!' I'm thinking worse case scenario here, and they want me to come make there frigging beds!) or if there's a loud noise ("thunder" and I live in the south so it's been really nerve racking lately) I automatically think they've lit up and the oxygen has finally blew!. My blood pressure is sky high when I'm around them and then I come home and feel guilty for hurting their feelings, somebody please tell me some way of dealing with the crazy people that used to be my loving parents!