I have been caring for my husband for 11 years. I feel isolated from friends and suffer emotional distress from a lack of communication with other people. What can I do?

I think the care giver was a great idea. Maybe for now, you should just sleep, get caught up. As far as outdoors, why does it have to mean you have to GO somewhere? Why can't you just take a walk, or sit on the porch or backyard? Now if it's snowing where you live, then maybe not outside and sit in the snow, but can't you bundle up and still take a walk? I think baby steps are in order here. You've become a hermit of sorts for 11 years, just do the baby step thing for awhile. Get your 'sea legs' so to speak. And after you've gotten used to being 'outdoors' again, pick up the phone and reach out to someone you haven't talked to in a long time. It'll be fine, you can do this. After what you've been through for 11 years, this getting out of the house should be a 'walk in the park'. (pun intended) :)

Delsberry:

During those 11 years you practically stopped living, and the thought of reconnecting again with yourself and the world at large is quite daunting. Also, sleeping your life away is a sign of depression. So it's time to get back on that horse and live again. The moment you start socializing and re-discovering both yourself and the things you used to enjoy you'll definitely feel better. We'll be here to tickle you every now and then, so keep us posted.

-- ED

Start going to the library and see if you could voleenteer maybe 1 hr. a week so you have something planned to go to at a certain time to start with and come back to this site you have a lot of insight that you can share with others go easy on yourself I try to have a plan for my days the first hr. I am up in the morning I do bills I also set the timer for an amount time and do work for that time then take a short break then set the timer for more work around the house you will be surprised how much you can get done by the end of the day.

I also agree the above suggestions are wonderful. Get back into a routine of doing some form of exercise; walking, dancing around the house, or with your vacuum cleaner. Get yourself on a schedule. It will be difficult to start but, you owe it to yourself to get started. Find a church near you. There are many Christians who would love to be your friend. Your best friend should be Jesus. He has your answers. Trust him, seek him.

Do you have a garden? If not why not start one. It's so peaceful and rewarding and since I've taken over my mom's garden for her I find myself singing a lot more, guess since I sing in the garden, I've carried it over.

I also agree with an anti-depressant may be in order.

About church, girl If you don't know God now's the time to get to know him. He will guide you through any storm!

I agree with the comments and especially angelgirlpj. Talk to God. He's the best friend you'll ever have. You took the first step by getting a caregiver to help you out. Now you have to give yourself a break. Remember that you have given up your life for the past 11 years and you have to start living again. You probably will feel guilty having a good time or even feeling happy because your husband can't share that with you, but he wouldn't want you to give up being happy for him. If you have any hobbies, pick them up again and find new friends in club meetings, ect. that involve that hobby. I had all but given up on getting my life back because I spent so much time caring for mom, but I also have found 2 caregivers who help me out and I'm going to start horseback riding again. I went to a club meeting with only women around my age who ride last night and we planned rides (even overnighters) and I came alive again just talking about it. I had so much fun and can't wait to have some "life" in my life again. Do something for yourself. It's okay.

There was a lady that would come by and bring my mom Communion for several years. When my mom got sick the lady came by while I was there. I explained to her that my mom had had a stroke and couldn't eat solid foods, that everything had to be puried and that the communion would have to be broken up and given to her in a small piece. I went out to get some water, came back and found the lady had placed the entire communion in my moms mouth. I knew then that she did not understand what I'd said. She told me to call her when my mom was better that she couldn't break off pieces of the communion.

I called the Rectory and left several msgs for the Priest. I told his secretary that I'd gone to the elementary school, as had my sister. I told him I was baptised, made my first Holy Communion, Confirmed there. I further told him I'd married there, and both my sons were baptised there. I also told him that my mom use to work at the convent, which she did for 5 years. I told them that my mom had been making donations of $100.00 to the church for many a year....MANY A YEAR. It took several calls for me to get the priest over there.

The Priest called me and made arrangements to come over. He did not know our history with the church and had only been at this parish for 8 months. He also has another church so he pulls double duty.

I found him to be delightful and uplifting and a great sense of humor. He even got me to return to Mass at the church,
and he has been coming faithfully every since October atleast every week.

If you call, they will come. Explain your situation and you will feel a lot better.

I'm praying for you. You can do it, I know you can.

mschrys1 says ""nor did we experience any simple phone calls just to touch base. Seems unless you've directly experienced medical tribulations, most are ignorant of the feelings/needs of others""

It is easy to criticize a "church" as a group of people. but you have to remember each person is an individual and as a group we sometimes do not function well because we sort of think someone else in the group is doing it.

My sister often blamed "the people at church" for not going out of their way to convert our dad or whatever and she complains about other things related to the people at church yet SHE is one of them and she has never volunteered for anything either. She never "made a simple phone call"
We see ourselves as needing but we don't see ourselves as part of the solution for others either.
Everyone is in some sort of situation and can use support.

Sometimes to get past the group mentality a more personal plea has to be made. Directly to the pastor who can then make sure someone is assigned the task. Otherwise people assume someone else is doing it.
I know I never considered myself one of the "workers" in the church and I have sat there for years in the pew and never gave a thought to being the ONE who would answer the plea for help. I was leaving that up to the people who were better at it or who are just plain better people.

don't blame "the church" they are all just people like you..

SoAlone... We hosted services in our home several times (our church was a start up, no building, so congregation knew our plight), and I USED to volunteer on a local charitable board of trustees AND held several posts on our towns neighborhood watch (when I was a stay at homer, for several years BEFORE spouse was hurt and my time split between him and having to return to work full time), thus have done my stick so to speak with volunteerism. I would spend ALL weekend outside just trying to keep up with the yard work by myself, as spouse couldnt. In over 10 years of this, only ONCE did a neighbor offer to help shovel snow. I instead bought a snow blower, as at least I can rely on that/will spare my own back. I am sure there are good folk in many a church, just not feeling the warm fuzzies for churches in my area, based on experience.

If you're going to a church that makes you feel guilty for not tithing, then you're in the wrong church. My husband and I tithe regularly, but that's between us and God. And also your church shouldn't be making you feel guilty about NOT getting involved with helping. Especially if they know of your circumstances, they should be aware of the stress you're already under, and not expect you to add yet another duty to your list. I have found, the smaller the church, the more family like it seems. When you go to a huge mega church, it's easy to get lost in the crowd. Some people like that, we don't so we attend a small community church. And also, what better place for sick people to be then church? After all, why would you go to a hospital unless you were in need of help? So also with the 'church', but in the end it's the people that make a 'church'. Otherwise it's just another building.
Matthew 18:20:
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the middle of them.