My mom has MS. Her disease has progressed and the level of care she needs has dramatically increased in less than a month. As of this weekend she has moved to an assisted living with 24 hour care. She can no longer transfer on her own, has a catheter, and I feel has just given up.
I am 34 years old and an only child. My father passed away several years ago and I was also the caregiver for my grandfather before he passed away. My older friends have no "real" idea what I am going through or have gone through. My mom and I have had many conversations about her care and she was and still is clear that there is no way she could or would move in with me.
When I mentioned this to my friends, I was immediately made to feel guilty and told they would never send their parents to a nursing home. After this conversation, I have just stopped talking about anything to do with my mother. They just do not understand what I am going through. It is always on my mind no matter what I do.
I am emotionally drained by all of this. My mom can be and often is nasty to me and that makes all of this much harder. I cry all the time and I find myself resentful of those who lead what I feel is a "normal" life.
I have so much respect for those who care for their parents in their home. I feel guilty for even venting. I just feel guilty all the time and I need to know if I will ever feel normal again?