How can I cope with watching my mother pass away?

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I could write a story about what has happened to my mother of 86 but the bottom line is, watching her pass away is making me extremely sad

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Thank you so much!..so helpful!
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Hey kiddo,
I know how awful it is.
She is going to not want to eat and it is very tiring for her to do so. Tell her that it will be too painful if she doesn't eat. I used baby food with my mom near the end. My mom didn't want to eat either and I told her that she would be in pain and that she should just put something on her stomach. I got the Juniors baby food. They have little dinners that you heat up and if it takes an hour to get a few spoonfuls in then it takes an hour.
Be with her as much as you can and I am happy that you have in home care. Huge. tell the caregivers to feed her no matter how long it takes or how sore their arm is holding up the spoon.

There is a series of pamphlets that are really wonderful when we reach this situation.
bkbooks . com and they are 3 bucks a piece.
gone from my sight
the eleventh hour.

There are more but these 2 really helped me with my mom's death. The eleventh hour tells what is happening in the final days. Part of your fear is fear of the unknown and now is the time to really hang on to the fact that death is part of life.
At the end I sat with my mom holding her hand and telling her how much I loved her and how brave I thought she was. I truly thought she was the bravest person I had even seen.
It sounds like your mom is brave too.
I told her that I was going to be ok and that I understood that she had to leave. I wished that she could stay with me but I understood. I told her not to worry about anything. when the time came I knew it and I told her to look for daddy, because daddy would be there looking for her and that they would be together in just a flash.
She died holding my hands and looking into my eyes. it was so sad and so beautiful at the same time because like your mom she was suffering so.
My mom actually died with a little smile thinking of my father whom she loved so much.
You can be a part of your mom's transition and it will make you cry but it will bring you a peace that many people never get to experience.
Don't be afraid. We are here for you.
lovbob
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Hi Bob,
Thank you for your words......My mother was released from the hospital and she is at the stage where is does not really want to eat.. She is in her home with 24 hour care but I'm there with her a lot of the time. She is also taking a chemo drug in addition to blood pressure and other regular meeds so I worry about putting that in her stomach without food. Believe it or not she accepts the pills. Before she was discharged doctor told me to think about feeding tube..He said there was not point giving her pills without nutrition. I wont do that. She has polycythemia if anyone out there knows about that and her blood count is off the chart. The chemo is lowering it but I worry about the drug I'm giving her. Either way I know things are not good. I get her up to sit in a chair, and she cant be consuming more then 500 calories a day. Thats being generous. So she's withering. We're able to get her to sip ensure,juice and water. I just want her to continue to be pain free..just wish I could get her to swallow more then sips of soup or jello......thank you for listening....
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Hi there,
you are having panic attacks. please visit your doc and tell him/her what you are going though and to give you something to help with it. You don't need to suffer so much. suffering while watching a parent wither and die is hard enough without panic and anxiety attacks.

Please don't be afraid for your mom. Ultimately she will find peace and you will too. This is indeed the hardest thing a child can do and it will mess you up if you don't know what to expect.
We can help you here on this site. Knowing that you are not alone in this will really make a difference.
my mom died on May 26 after battling Dementia for years and years and me being her caregiver for the last 5.5 years. I can still get really sad about it but this site saved my bacon when I thought I was going to lose my mind.

There are so many caregivers here and they are amazing individuals in the fact that they do care, even about someone they have never met.

Write and vent and get it out and on the page here. then just check in later and read it and take it for your own.

Tell us what is going on with your mom and why do you fear for her? You're going to make it through this and we'll help you.

do you have Hospice working with you?

lovbob
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watching my mother wither away makes me so scared for her, sick in my stomach, have bad dreams, anxious, feels like my chest is going to explode......
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Watching your mother die is making you extremely what?
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