Follow
Share

My brother has taken over complet control of my mother's care. He is her medical proxy and POA (done without my knowledge). Everything has to be done his way, and wonders why I only visit monthly (I live a distance away). When he needs help he is is demanding and dictorial in the way he wants something done. He is not open to any suggestions, and is verbally abusive when he does not get his way.

Unfortuantely, my mom lives with my brother. I have been told by a social worker that the relationship is co-dependent and unhealthy.

My mother suffers from dementia (which my brother denies) and has is now recovering from hip surgary. I love my mom, but feel pushed out of her life.

I do not have always agree with the care she is being given, but have no say. I am tired of my brother's abuse but don't want to lose my mother because of his actions.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Unfortunately, if your brother is the caretaker and legal authority on her health, there is nothing you can do except get legal help, which will cost you a minimum of $5,000. Its like a child's custody battle and you should be able to see her on certain days. Being the full time caretaker is a hard job so he is earning his authority . I would ask what days you can see her and dont let him stop you from coming on the days he arranges. Paying a lawyer will get you the same outcome so may as well work it out with him for free. Best of luck, and remember as hard as this is, you are lucky that he is taking care of her and she isnt in a nursing home. Dementia patients need stability and being at home is best. Go see your Mom and walk right by him with your head held high.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Good advice, you need a lawyer. Your brother is pushing you out for some reason. My Mother made my brother POA and left me out. We are her only children. She made up a story that I asked her for money 25 years ago. Just not true at all. I am lucky so far that my brother is a good guy. I know how you feel, it is just painful.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

First off, she needs to be professionally evaluated for Dementia. Secondly, consult an attorney specializing in Elder Law.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter