How do you get a living trust to pay for caregiving?

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I have been dealing with a local bank that manages a living trust for a friend that I take care of 12 hours a day. I had to quit working to help him full time on Aug 25 2012. I have spent all my savings to help him. He has 175,000 in a living trust that his father left him but the bank refuses to pay me a caregiving expense. Instead of letting him be happy at home they say put him in a nursing home. I can not put him in there knowing that he would not last long. he has lived here 45 years and has lots of friends. Thank You

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You didn't mention whether your friend had put a Power of Attorney in place to manage their finances and business affairs, so it sounds like the only fiduciary who has authority right now is the bank's trust department.

A fiduciary is someone who manages another person's money. The trustee must act in the best interests of the person who put the funds in their trust. The bank, as trustee, should be listening to your requests. You sound reasonable and it is certainly in the best interest of your friend to remain at home, in a less restrictive setting than a nursing home.

The terms written in your friend's Living Trust document should give to the bank the authority to make decisions about how to spend the money wisely for that person's benefit. If the trust office won't let you see the trust document, you can use court processes in your jurisdiction to petition for review of the trust, and how it is being administered.

Your first step would be to find an elder law attorney who can advise you on the best approach to take toward helping your friend.

The bank trustee's advice to spend down the trust funds on a nursing home may be unreasonable, and not in the best interest of your friend. An independent review of all the facts can give you some solid answers.
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I cannot advise you on how to obtain some financial assistance from your friend's trust, but I know that Medicaid has a program that is called Adult Foster Care in Massachusetts, but may be called something else in another state. If the individual qualifies for medicaid, which may be the case in this individual's circumstances as the assets are in trust and not in their name, then you may well qualify to be a paid care provider. It sounds like you do enough assisting to qualify for approximately $50 daily, if you do the correct number of assists, which I know is not a lot, but is something. Generally the ill person lives with the care provider, but perhaps they allow for this type of arrangement as well. It can be a friend, parent, child, but they do not pay for spouses. In our area we have the Greater Springfield Senior Service agency who will come out and do a free assessment of what the individual qualifies for (you do not need to be elderly to qualify for their services), but in your area you will have another similar agency - sorry I cannot tell you what the name would be. Other agencies can assist you with AFC specifically, but may not be able to do a complete assessment of needs (you could start with the local Goodwill Industries, perhaps asking for their residential department, but there will surely be other agencies in the area who provide this service as well - I simply don't know your geographical area or service providers in your area so cannot advise in greater detail. Good luck. I know how emotionally, mentally and physically draining it is to care for a loved one, and wish you both the best.
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Caretacker, caregiving is alive and well, but...the idea that a younger generation should work themselves to death caring for someone at home ...is an idea whose time should never have been. Today, many elders have chronic health problems but are able to live for years. Under these conditions, should children give up their lives, for years, so that an elder can be at home? Seems to me the elder needs to step up to the plate and make necessary, if unwanted changes
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Ttoneal: I'd be interested in the answer to this question from an elder care attorney. My first Q would be: Is this a Revocable Living Trust? Who is the Trustee? The bank? What is your official role in this matter (other than caregiver)?
I would also resist at this time from putting him in a Nursing Home. Somehow, a portion of that $175,000.00 should go to caregiving expenses.
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Sounds like you need to see a lawyer and see about getting conservatorship if your friend has nobody else.
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Thank you: Just wanted to give a few more details about my Friend. It's now 3 mos.. later still dealing with bank over this living trust. I have POA and Health care for my good friend and have talked to a attorney about this and they think it is his money for his care, comfort, support but bank continues to say they have sole discretion as to his money. I think their forcing me to put him in a nursing home knowing financially I can know longer help him. I have been living off my credit cards since Aug 2012. Any Help Please. Regards
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It is so sad that so few have compassion for de-mented patients. Just put them in a home where they won't bother them. Of course it has to be the sick person's money or else. Too bad that the patient will die prematurely if taken from familiar surroundings. GOODY-GOODY- then I will inherit what is left is what most think.
What is it with this generation? The OLD principal of taking care of the elderly family member no longer applies to this generation.
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Has anyone had first-hand experience with LTC insurance?..... By this question I mean actual payouts to the Nursing Home or Assisted Living facility by long term care insurance. I'm thinking about purchasing LTC insurance for my son.
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Assuming your friend is of sound mine and has capacity to make decisions ... .Your situation can be resolved in favor of both you being compensated and your friend staying at home, have the assets made available for care while also having Medicaid funding to take care of the costs of the care (in NY State... and if not in NYState...other states have similar provisions)...YOU give him the care AND keep him at home.... I am an attorney in this field... it is a legal and can be accomplished... end result is what you seek and the bank has no control.... if he is not competent... then there is still a way for the same result, just another step... Olga
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Assuming your friend is of sound mine and has capacity to make decisions ... .Your situation can be resolved in favor of both you being compensated and your friend staying at home, have the assets made available for care while also having Medicaid funding to take care of the costs of the care (in NY State... and if not in NYState...other states have similar provisions)...YOU give him the care AND keep him at home.... I am an attorney in this field... it is a legal and can be accomplished... end result is what you seek and the bank has no control.... if he is not competent... then there is still a way for the same result, just another step... Olga
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