jeffmary1 Asked July 2010

How do I deal with my dad giving money away?

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Dad owns his own business & still gets a paycheck. He frequently takes large cash withdrawls.

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breadbaker Sep 2012
Not sure what the law is there, but an adult can spend their money any way they want, pretty much. I mean my father was spending too much money on the lottery, I thought, but he was paying all his other bills, etc., so it's really none of my business. To me, that was a waste of money. It's frustrating, especially when they could be paying for care that they need.
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duttonw Sep 2012
uk
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jeannegibbs Sep 2012
What country are you in, duttonw?
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duttonw Sep 2012
my auntie has an estate of £150k, she is in a nursing home and can cover her fees from her pensions. she does not hit the inheritance bracket as she has no house. can she give away funds to her relatives as she wishes..?
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LynnPO Jul 2010
If he owns his own business and still gets a paycheck - then is he still capable of making wise decisions? Probably. So what's the problem? A little more detail about the situation might get some more specific advice here.

I have a much older brother who's not rich but is comfortable and there is a young gal that comes around.... I smell a rat but he's capable and she makes him happy - what's the harm? He's gruff and suspicious so I'm careful when I speak with him about such things. Telling your dad not to give his money away could push him away from you. A successful tactic I've used in the past is to say "I'm worried that people take advantage of your generosity. Do YOU feel that way?" Tell him he's worked hard and DESERVES to enjoy his money and spend it how he chooses but you are concerned about others motives. That might start a conversation about the matter but I urge caution - don't make him angry. Your intent MUST be honorable and to protect his happiness, even if it means he continues to gift or loan money.

If he is having memory or judgement problems and you suspect someone's taking advantage - then you need to do something else. Does he have business partners or a manager you can speak with? Perhaps you could tell them the situation and they could implement a policy that limits the number and amount of cash withdrawals each month. In this economy something like that is a reasonable thing.
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