How do you cope with a mother who is starting to have more and more day-time bathroom accidents?

Asked by

How do you cope with a mother who at 91-years-old is starting to have more and more day-time bathroom accidents? We give frequent bathroom reminders, and help with depends/diapers. She seems so unaware at times and yet will get up several times at night herself to use the bathroom! Her bed stays dry ! She is often offended by the reminders to go and she is nearly deaf so that I have to practically shout at her . She is such a sweet and appreciative lady and I hate to embarrass her, but if I ignore the problem, my house will smell of urine and she will be wet and smelly much of the time. Any suggestions?
Thanks!

Answers 1 to 10 of 22
I would get her depends and put some pads on her chair... Bless her heart she is probably really embrassed. I think that their pelvic floor muscles become weakened and we all know that gravity is NOT our friend!!!..take care J
Reminders, depends and your caring attitude....geez...I can't offer any suggestions but keep doin' what your doin'...keep that caring attitude and God given patience...good luck...I'm sorry I didn't have an answer to help
a thought might be that she has developed a bladder or kidney infection... I might be worth checking out... some of those nice soft wipes for her peri area could be helpful too... again I wish you the best, take care, J
Thanks for all input and support! I guess I was just wondering how others handle this.
Yes, I already provide and assist her to wear her Depends with extra poise pads attached. We put a washable pad on all chairs and beds for her. She takes meds for several health issues including Myeloma. I know she just doesn't always have control or an awareness. I certainly don't blame her, I'll probably be in her situation someday myself. I guess I just needed to tell someone. It makes me sad, because she was always such a carefully groomed lady! I often console myself, that her memory lapse is a good thing, because if she really knew her lack of grooming she'd be so humiliated!
Top Answer
I almost forgot. Thanks Jaye for the suggestion about a possible UT infection. We have had her checked for this before, but maybe we need to do it again.
Thanks,
J's suggestion about possible UT infection is very logical. I set an alarm clock for a three hour period (or what ever period appropriate) and told my wife it was time for her to go to the bathroom. After a few days she accepted this "duty calls" and we kept dry all day.
DEA
Do check with her doctor to see if there is an underlying condition. My mother had a uterine prolapse that was putting pressure on her bladder, she had an operation over a year ago to correct it and they lifter her bladder at the same time. She is doing 80% better now, but at the time, since she spends most her time watching tv, she would go to the bathroom after each program and when we are out I would tell her I need to go to the ladies room and ask her to come with me. The only other thing I would suggest is talcum powder, it helps keep them dry, absorbs the smell, but can make the floor slippery. Best Wishes!
Thanks all!
If it won't embarrass her too much, putting the disposable pee pee pads you get in the pet dept. are an easy, disposable way to get rid of accidents. You could put these over the washable pads.

My Mom is 81 and can't make it to the bathroom sometimes but at this point the poise pads and depends help. She can clean up herself for now but I know she is embarassed.

God Bless!
Good idea, thanks!

Share your answer

Please enter your Answer

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support