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elderly father in law is stealing from friends in community to get Gas money to ride around almost all day and night. He got arrested and was bailed out by nephew. How does his only child (my husband) get help for him when he refuses to let us help him. He is living in very nasty conditions and refuses to clean up. How do we get into his business to have him evaluated and looked after without his permission?

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bobO is right. And be aware, if you mention your concern to any agency that receives any government subsidy, it is their duty to report the situation to APS, this would include the Area Agency on Aging. APS and AAA will work with you on this -- but have your POA in place first!
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My Dear,
The son must do this. The only way is to call Adult Protective Services and get them involved. They will help you do what you need to.
BobO
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First of all, if you don't want the law involved, you need to step in and just DO the cleaning without his permission. Once you get the State involved, there is a lot of people that get involved in everything, and you begin to regret calling them in. If you call the police and come in, they will see that the place is filthy and call the health department to come and inspect it, and some times RED TAG it. It will save him and you a lot of undo embarrassment if you just take a Saturday and go in and tell him you are cleaning up the place. He's old AND a man. A spotless home or apartment is not the most important thing he is concerned about. I know what I'm talking about, been there, done that, even got the t-shirt.
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This has to be done step-by-step....the first being call your local Division of Aging and request a social worker come to the residence for an evaluation..if living conditions are deplorable they can have him removed from his home due to the dangers to himself. Then go to step #2. Don't try to do everything all at once or you will be so overwhelmed you won't know what way to go next. Step #2 will be his doctor evaluating him....he may be ill and that is why he is acting like he is and living like he is. My mil was living in a mouse-ridden, urine soaked home and we finally got her out a little over a year ago....she is now on medications appropriate for her and other than the problems associated with dementia....she is clean and safe. Be firm and good luck....this can be stressful for you and your husband. Check back in and let us know how things are progressing.

JAM
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If it were me..I would find out who his Dr. is and call him. Tell him what you just wrote..his behaviors, etc. I would try and tell him he needs his yearly physical, and get him there. Make sure you ask the Dr.to do a minii cognitive evaluation on him...get a copy of the report. You might also be able to report his behavior to the local social service angency. Tehy ma be able to get a social worker to go and evaluate his situation, and make recomendations. Does anyone have POA? Try and expalin to him he needs to get one done...for the future needs.
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Is he ill? Do you have reason to believe he is not capable of caring for himself? If so then you could call Dept of Human Services or the Dept of Elder affairs. Is your Mother in Law gone, is he depressed?
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