How do I handle it when my 83-year-old mother tells people lies about me? She does have dementia and does get confused a lot.
My husband and I live with my mother who has lots of health problems and she is irritable and rude mainly to me.
It's hard to hear her say things that aren't true at all. Makes you wonder what the other person is thinking...elder abuse or what? The other day when the home health nurse came, I told the home health nurse to ask her about taking a shower because this is a new problem popping up...mother hates to shower and wash her hair. So, the HHN asked her if she showered yesterday and mother said yes, which she didn't. And, then she asked mother is she would take a shower the next day, and mother gave her this smart answer...If I feel like it, I will. Then the HHN asked her why she didn't want to take a shower and mother said because she was afraid she would fall. That's probably true. She has her chair, long nozzle, and bars to help her and me. Then, the lie...and mother said when I help her get all riled up at her!! And, that is NOT true!! I immediately said that is not true at all.
There I sat wondering what the HHN thought...believe me or mother? Being a caregiver is a hard job in this situation, but then to have my mother lie about me makes it even tougher.
What do you say when this happens? Thank you very much.