How do I get my parents to accept other caregivers?

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My 82 year old mother has injured her back and doesn't want to leave her bed. My father is her primary caregiver and I am helping out as much as possible. Dad is wearing himself out and I, too, am exhausted. I've tried to convince Dad that other's could help us, but he feels that we can manage. Help!

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Expert Answer
3930 helpful answers
It's hard and you will get resistance. You may want to read this article:

They'd much rather have you all the time, but you can't do it all, and they need to learn to accept help in some form. Caregivers often get sick and/or die before the people they are caring for.
Take care of yourself, too.
Be honest and tell him that you are exhausted and need someone to help you. If he is a Veteran then the VA Aid and Attendance Benefit will help to pay for some Home Care if money is a issue. I did it too until my dad had a heart attack due to stress of caring for mom. His health got so bad they both ended up in a nursing home. I wish you all the strength and luck, have someone come and talk to him too from a agency .
Try to get your mother's and or father's doctor(s) to help. Contact them and explain the situation. Try to do this before their next scheduled appointment. Ask the doctor(s) if they will strongly urge your father to get some level of professional home care for your mother because they are better trained to deal with problems related to back injuries (even simple matters like bathing and toilette use can become hazardous if the caregiver is not trained in proper lifting and support techniques) Carol is right in stating that your parents would much rather have you all the time. However you need to translate this into "we want you here for companionship and comfort, but we prefer to have our health and safety issues addressed by professionals"
The link above given by "Minding Our Elders" does not work.
No sudden moves; gradual introductions and cups of coffee visits are better than the shick of saying this is your new caregiver, Mom and/or Dad. Golden rule, sort of? Regardless, there is likely to be resistance, which is understandable, as it is the unknown to your parent.
Keep in mind that dad not wanting outside care could be due to a cultural, regional or religious reason. Some people may believe that family takes care of family or that there is shame in needing outside help. Maybe he feels that nobody will take as good care of her as the two of you could or that if he brings someone in that you will not be around as much. Money could also be an issue. I would speak with him first and validate his response. Once you know where his resistance is coming from, you will be in a better position to come up with a good stategy to bring in outside help.
Hi, I also think it would be a good idea to have the doctor to talk to them of getting a professional help for your parents..

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