How do I communicate with my mother who had a stroke and is unable to talk?

Asked by

My parents don't live with me (approx 250km away). My mother had a minor stroke and fell recently resulting in a further stroke shortly thereafter. She is unable to communicate and I love her soooo much it breaks my heart. She is in an old age home (frail care) - unable to feed herself, talk properly and immobile. How do I communicate with her. She speaks mainly with her eys (so loving as always) and I want to make it better trying to understand, but it is hard not knowing what she is saying. If anyone can help I will really appreciate it as I feel as though I have lost my guardian angel .....

Answers 1 to 4 of 4
We don't realize how much we rely on verbal communication, until its taken away. It is heartbreaking to watch someone you love try, unsuccessfully, to communicate. You say your mother speaks with her eyes - loving as always. Hold on to that. Know that she loves you.

You might also want to check out this article by our community moderator Carol Bursack, who gives some tips on communicating with parents when they can no longer speak. We hope this gives you some peace of mind. And remember, you are not alone.
when my dad had his stroke I watched go from talking to gutteral noises to silence in the space of an hour he never did talk again and the Lord took him a week later, mostly what I saw in his eyes was questions, so i talked to him like I would ordinarily do but I told him everything was going to be alright I was there and would take care of everything he didn'thave to worry about a thing, he slept after that for four days on the fifth day I knew he was going to go that day when i visisted him on my way to church he was awake and had questions I told him he had a stroke and that is why he couldn't speak, I told him I loved him and called him Daddy which I hadn't called him that in 45 years, I told him it was time for him to spend some time with his mom and dad and his sister, she died four days before him and he didn't know it and I told him he needed to spend time with his son and grandson that he had spent so much time with us that they missed him. i told him if he saw the golden light to go to it and he would be fully restored and 15 min later he was gone. I don't believe in keeping people alive who have no chance at a "normal" life and he had a peaceful death. For those who have a parent who cannot verbalize, for longer lengths of time, assure them they are loved, touch them as often as you can, living so far away if you can you may want to make a trip or two for a few days. Unfortunately even with our technology it will be hard to communicate long distance unless someone has a laptop and web cam if you are allowed to set it up in her facility but someone will have to be on the other end that can accept your input for your mom. Thats the best I can come up with or if she has a tv you can purchase something similar thru the cable co or direct tv for a bigger picture I think this is about 100.00 a month. costly to say the least .
neon, what a beautiful true story. you are truly a good person. like last week, i commented on the similar topic to this one today and AGAIN, it didn't show up. i've got so much to share but the site must be alergic to me. well, there's nothing keeping me from reading your experiences. thank you. sooz
Well sooz keep trying it will get thru start a new thread perhaps that will help I'll be looking for your posts. neon

Share your answer

Please enter your Answer

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support