How can I help my mother remember to use the commode to go to the bathroom instead of going everywhere else?

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My mother is pretty far along in her dementia, but is still mobile. She wears Depends and doesn't know the difference. She rarely wets in them. The problem though is she will pull her pants down and sit anywhere to go the bathroom - the edge of the bed, a chair, the bathroom floor (beside the commode) or on the carpet. I need to be with her every time she goes, but I don't wake up at night always and sometimes I am busy and do not notice she left the room. She and I live alone.

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wow the problems we face....I don't have it this bad yet..;power to all of you!
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A plumber could install a bidet for you. Maybe having a bidet would "entice" your mother to want to use the bathroom for her toilet needs, because of the cleansing, washing action of it. You never know.......it might feel like a "perk" to her.
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Hello. I was in the same boat several as everyone a few months ago. My elderly mother with middle/late stage of Alzheimer's usually would pee on the bathroom floor continuously. First, I thought the toilet was broken or there was a leak. Then, I realized she was going to the bathroom and sitting on the every edge of the toilet seat, not using the toilet as it was designed for. I was mopping, cleaning, and sanitizing almost daily. Plus washing tons of soiled clothes.
A light bulb went off in my brain. Just put a sticker on the edge of the toilet seat. I covered a flower sticker with clear packing tape. Then adhered the sticker to the front of the seat. I started taking her to the bathroom after I had gone or every 2-3 hours. Continuously, told her she had to sit past the sticker, when she could see the sticker between her legs, she was in the correct position.
This went on for days,weeks months. Go to the bathroom every 2-3 hour and sit past the sticker, the pee or poop. If the sticker got gross, I'd replace it with another one. By taking her and reminding her over and over it seem to be become part of long term memory, which Alzheimer's are more able to retain then short term memory. Short term memory is worthless for patients with dementia. Long term memory starts to dissolve as the patient progresses into late stage of Alzheimer's. Then al bets are off. They can't retain any information, have more confusion and more problems.
Now my mom needs assistance with cleaning after 2, but she can sit on the toilet correctly. NO more accidents. Even at night when I don't hear her, she's able go to the bathroom and do her business without a mess. She'll say, "I know how to use the bathroom right, when I see the flower sticker".
If you don't have a bidet. You can keep a small pitcher under the sink. I use it occasionally when mom has accidents and forget to get up to go to the bathroom at night. Use rubber gloves, liquid soap and a disposable baby wipe (as a wash cloth). Scrub her around her private area with liquid soap, then rinse with warm water, and pat dry. It's much easier than having to give her a shower after accidents.
Good Luck to you.
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A bidet is a low, basinlike bathroom fixture, usually with spigots, used for bathing the genital and perineal areas.
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Thanks for your comments and I have already started working on taking her to the bathroom during the day - though she hates that. I still have a problem at night as I don't hear her get up. I ordered mats that would alert me when she gets up, but have not been able to get them. What is a Bidet???
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good call. that's what I did with my mom. I'd just pop her on the pot every 90 minutes to 2 hours or so. It soulds like a big task in the beginning but the time you save cleaning up eew makes it all worth it.

My mom got to the point that she would give me the 'look' and I would know that now's the time. They can't dawdle because they are going to wait until it's critical mass before they're understanding that action must be taken.

Good luck and I thought about installing a hose bib and drain in the middle of the bathroom but I like Daniel's idea better.

lovbob
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I think (and this makes your job harder because your adding a task to caregiving but easier because you won't be having to clean up so much) that taking your mother to the bathroom at regular intervals will help. I had the same problem with my mother so the advice is from experience. Another problem was tha my mother was resistant to help in the bathroom so I purchased a toilet seat bidet. The water seems to stimulate bowel movements and the resistance to help with cleanup lessened. Good Luck.
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You sound like a very patient and loving caregiver to your mother. Everyone at this site understands how difficult little problems like this make the bigger problems we have in providing care to those we love.
I am sure others will come up with better solutions--we are a clever group but here is what I would do:

Since your mother wears Depends and still understands the need to pull down her pants to do the deed, what if you stitched a fastener or button into her pants that made it difficult to pull them down when she felt the need to go. Then she might call for your help and you could guide her to the commode. After doing this for several days, she might get used to calling for help even when the fastener is no longer there. Any tailor or seamstress could install the fastener if you tell them what it is for.
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