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My dad has sudden onset, multi-infarct dementia. It is as if he suddenly has no self-censoring. He is verbally abusive and won't "fall for" redirection.

I am moving him from his current home with my mother to live with me and my husband. How do I cope with this? When he becomes paranoid, sarcastic, and abusive toward me, my mom, or my husband and won't be redirected, what should I say?

Thanks very much for any help! It's as if Dad has suddenly turned into an abusive drunk, and I'm not sure how to handle this.

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HI,MY NAME IS ANGELA AND MY HUSBAND HAS INFARCT DEMENTIA AND HE IS BECOMING VERBALLY ABUSIVE TOWARDS ME,HE IS ALSO STARTING TO STEAL CANDY OUT OF STORES AND OTHER SMALL THINGS SOMETIMES HE STANDS OVER ME WHILE I AM SLEEPING.THAT IS VERY SCARY FOR ME I AM GOING TO KEEP















HIM HOME AS LONG AS CAN I HAVE TO MAKE HIM KEEP UP HIS HYGIENE ARE HE WON'T SHOWER OR SHAVE AND THAT IS BECOMING HARD TO DO SOMETIMES I HAVE TO BE VERY REPETITIVE WHEN I ASK HIM TO DO IT AND HE GETS ANGRY WHEN I KEEP ASKING HIM.SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO SEND HIM AWAY BUT I KNOW THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT THING TO DO AT THIS POINT BUT I KNOW THAT EVENTUALLY I AM GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE THAT DECISION.
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Thank you very much for your kind and helpful comments. I will work on remembering not to take Dad's ranting personally, as it is not really him, it is just the disease.

My mom is very relieved that he is coming to live here. She simply cannot manage him anymore on her own. The only alternative was a nursing home. And that remains our backup plan for when the time comes that my husband and I can no longer care for him.

I will take your advice and read all I can about dementia. Thanks again for your support.
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Welcome to this site you will meet great caring supportive people here any concerns you have you will get much imput. Get all the help you can while caring for your Dad. I found with dealing with my husband not to argue learn to just not to get upset Carol has said you need to put on an emotional shield. Try to read any information about dementia that you can and if possible join a caregivers support group where you will get support-will your Mom be alright with him living with you and if it does not work out do you have any other plans considered and most of all come back to this site as often as possible-I have never meet such a great group of people as I have here feel free to vent we all do any sometimes just putting your feelings out here helps-I am no longer a caregiver for my husband-he died almost 6 months ago-but I get out to my Moms-in another state to give my sister a break as often as I can plus I made so many good friends here I will always come back here-let others help you with your burdens and it is good of you you are trying to help your Dad.
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