Does anyone really care if I'm lonely during the holidays?

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It is Christmas day and I am trying so hard not to cry and just be grateful that I have my mother with me dementia and all. Jusst enough food for her to eat. I will eat ceral and smoke cigarettes! Invited to a friends house but cant leave my mother alone,dont have a car so I cant take her out too cold. She is up in her room staring at a picture of her mother and father, crying. Thats the only memory she can see because her other 2 children have not come to see her and I have no pictures. I have no life,job,money or real friends. My daughter has not ccome to take us to her house for dinner but I guess she has her own family and life. How long can I indure this? Am I gonna ever be happy? Am I ever gonna get on my feet. I cant give presents to my grandchildren but I think they understand. God has already written my path, I just hope I dont leave this worl before I see what happiness he has in store for me. I am so lonley, and my mom is too but I cant even help her get through because I cant help myself get through.

Answers 1 to 10 of 24
Top Answer
I care. Please understand that although I cannot give out my phone number, The Alzheimer's Association has a 24/7 careline, who's number I can give out. 800.272.3900

Please call them... talk to them... tell them your story. There are people that care. Believe, I am one of them.

Thank you Mia, i do have the number and I will probably cal before tonight is over, its just that sometimes you sit and wonder where is your family! There should be a time when people sacrifice something for someone! Its ok, I think I knew it was gonna be this way, i just hoped it wouldnt
Call your family.. and ASK for their help. Let them know that you want to be with them. I had the same problem with my 'family' and now that Mom has passed, I feel like I am an only child. But I don't mind. I know that what I did was right by my mother, and I sat and prayed that THEY would wake up. Not sure if they have.

God bless you... and just know that there are those of us who truly care.
Sorry that you are feeling so down. But if it helps any, you are not the only one dealing with loneliness, uncaring family members etc. Despite being used now to absent siblings who never call to check on our mother, the "Holiday" season, with all the hype of "family togetherness" does multiply the hurt when you are a sole caregiver. To me, the only thing worse than spending the holiday this way is being a sole caregiver and spending it visiting your family member while they are in a nursing home. I've done that. I think Mia has good suggestions, hope you try them. When I start to feel this way, I think of others in worse situations than I am, children in foster homes without families, people with no roofs over their heads, etc and I think, if they can keep going, then I need to try also. I know when feeling this way, no suggestions sound helpful but what works for me is to stop thinking about my situation and lack of family support because it only makes me feel worse. Read, watch TV, do you bake? Can you bake cookies for the grandchildren? or for yourself and your mother? Are you or your mother into arts and crafts? Would she enjoy making or watching you make cards for your grandchildren? Wishing that the New Year brings you some support.
Thankyou, grandds not here they are visiting their other grandparents, but I will be ok. I have to realize tomorrow is another day and realy nothing is different then either, guess I just felt extra lonley everyone is with their family laughing and sharing gifts and food and me and mom alone with icecream and leftover baked chiken, guess we could have nothing. Thanks everyone, not trying to sound ungrateful or complaining, just feeling down,only I can make this work for us, one day at a time. Cant bake cookies, LOL plus have no cookie ingredients. we sitting watching tv and soon it will be time to go to sleep, I love all of you for responding to my cry. Only those that are going through this understands
Write your concerns down. Write a letter to each and every family member on how you feel, how you wish they felt, etc. Pour your heart out on these pages, just don't mail them. You can ask them for anything, tell them anything, get it off YOUR mind. You will feel much better having done this. It may sound silly but it worked for me. Who knows one of these days, they may actually 'find' these letters and realize just what they were doing wasn't quite 'right'. who knows.. maybe one day I will send these 'letters' out!

I am no longer 'going through this ' I am on the other side. My mother passed away over 6 months ago (May 7th), may she rest in peace.

Be kind to yourself Denise, sit with your mother even if she is crying, and help her by giving her some peace knowing that there is someone there for her! It will make you feel better I assure you.

Join a FREECYCLE group (on yahoo) in your area. Ask for things that you need, look at the things that are offered, and ask for help! Check Craigslist for things that are being offered for free in your area. You will see that there are MANY people that want to help.

Check with elder services in your area for help for food and even other benefits. Keep looking. Use your computer to find things. Get coupons, enter contests that don't require any purchase.

God bless you Denise, and your mother.
Denise, I care. I have sat here all day, alone with my mom with dementia, her other children haven't called, I also have no money for anything more than the basics. It's almost a blessing that mom doesn't really know that it's christmas or that her other children or grandchildren haven't called.
I understand how you feel, and I also keep trying to tell myself that it is just another day, I also didn't expect anything other than this.
So, I officially consider you my Family for this day, and I am happy to wish you and your mom the best of wishes for the season and for the new year! My mom and i are watching TV also, and i just noticed that it might snow here tonight which is odd for this area. Have a pleasant, quiet, and warm night, and give your mom a kiss for me when she goes to sleep, Love, Ted.
Thankyou Mia and Ted so very much!! You both just made me really cry, but dont worry its tears of happiness. No one, I mean no one has said anything to me this holday season that has made me feel remotely the way you both have made me feel tonight. This is as close to having a family at Christmas as I can get
Now you made ME cry. You made MY Christmas wish came true! It's good to know that Ted and I could help. God bless you Denise. I am so glad I came online. I'm sure tomorrow will get better. Just ask for help! God Bless
My Thanks to you, Denise. Because I am honestly smiling after reading that.

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