My mother-in-law needs care, but my father-in-law yells at caregivers and tries to molest them. We've been through 8 caregivers in 10 months. Any ideas on how to handle this?

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sounds like he needs to be arrested for trying to mollest the caregivers .
if i was trying to do my job and he does that to me , i be callin the police .
teachers gets arrested for molesting students etc so forth , that man needs to be put away before he ends up doing something seroise.
I would say your FIL is lucky he hasn't been sued. If he is senile and doing this maybe he should be claimed incompetent - if not I would talk to a lawyer for advise, to keep your MIL assets safe in case he is sued.
He really needs help!
I'd be interested to hear what your husband has to say about his dad acting like this. What are his suggestions?
Top Answer
Get him a blow-up doll and lock him in his room while the caregivers are there...or...insist on a male caregiver with a beard.
Agree, have this criminal arrested. Too much slack is giving to family members behaving badly. This is not a caregiver management problem; it is a criminal matter. Talk to all the previous caregivers and find 2-3 willing to talk to the police and press charges. This is outrageous. And you've known about it for how long?? After the first one, you put seven others in jeopardy, hoping he wouldn't do it again. Maybe YOU should be arrested for abetting. For pete's sake,WISE UP.

Until thing settle down, perhaps put MIL in nursing home for a few weeks. Obviously with FIL out of the way, living in her own home means 24/7 caregiving by family and other caregivers. Of course, if he is let out on bail, he'll return. You might ask yourself "What would Adult Protective Services" do if this problem was reported to them, by perhaps one of the many abused caregivers. You, your husband (why isn't he over there pummeling his father into behaving?), other family members...now is the time to rally and get this handled.

The FIL can be assessed for dementia, mental unstability, mental illness. It could be he has a form of dementia that results in outrageous behavior, or perhaps he's been an SOB for his entire life. Get your MIL some stable care temporarily into your house, an assisted living or nursing home facility. She's probably been abused by his anger too. She deserves some peace in her final years.

GOOD LUCK!! You have a tough one. When stuff like this comes up, I personally turn into THE HULK. It took me awhile to wake up that my motley assortment of sisters and nieces/nephews were dangerous by society's standards. Pit bulls, meth addicts, prostitute, pedophile predator, and finally sisters who forged Mom's checks, used her CC, didn't repay loans.

Oh, but let's bring them over for Christmas and holidays, cause they are too lazy to clean their own house. I caught bloody hell for kicking out the jerks. Not one has ever owned up to their behavior nor apologized. Still write me with a "HOWDY, How's things goin? LuvSue" Like this friendly subject line absolves their behavior.

Well, didn't want to get into my own drama. But sometimes caring for a dependent frail senior, one has to clean house of the scum.DANGER DANGER DANGER... I did, and at a big personal price. Mom was "conserved" and now "I" am 24/7 under the control of the public guardian....and I was the one to report them! None of the perpetrators got slapped with so much as a lecture, and they all have rights to visit, though I was a pain in the butt so much they limited hours and # of people at one time. This did eventually stop the house being used as their social hall (ignoring Mom, of course).



1. Have Father in Law evaluated if this is not life long behavior and get him some help
2. If this is life long behavior get Mother in law a new place to live or
3. Get a big, burly male caregiver
Would not a male caregiver solve this problem?
put him away/separate him from his wife while the home attendant is taking care of her/ send him to an adult day care center/senior citizen center for him to be occupied while the home attendant is doing her job ....or he will be arrested /maybe cut of the home attendant hours just to 2-4 hours daily maybe that could her and keep him outside the house while the home attendant is there. tell him to stop of he will face criminal charges/ have a police talk to him to scare him for good, maybe??????

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