susanT8403 Asked July 2011

It is hard on your emotional well-being watching someone pass away right in front of you.

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well this is really not a question, I guess just an update on how things are going, mom has pnewmonia again, aspiration of the lungs, she isnly 70 pounds now, and completely delerious........everytime I see her which is daily, she is declining more and more, I ask god why??? when she is lucid and in the right state of mind she knows exactly whats going on, is now extremely humble, and to see her lying there not being able to even use a phone, read a book, or even talk so that I can understand her, is just so so sad and heart wrenching for me, now she is off to the hospital again to maybe get her lungs pumped which the doctors dont even think she will survive because she is so weak, today I bought her a Kindle, something she can at least pick books she might like, I download them for her, and it reads the books for her, as when she is not sick she is very on the ball, and understands everything, thats the thing that makes it so difficult, she see's she cant eat or walk because she has no balance left and will fall, Please everybody pray for us...........thanks you guys are terrific...........Susan

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EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack Jul 2011
Susan, I'm so sorry. Watching someone you love slowly die is horrible. There's so much grief in the process of watching the decline, as you are . All we can do is extend our hearts to you and let you know we are thinking of you. You are doing everything you can be being with your mom and letting her know you love her.
Take care of yourself the best you can,
Carol
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DonnaG Jul 2011
I'm so sorry, Susan. I am sure your being there means the world to her. When I can't help my mom with whatever she is anxious about, all I can say is, "Just know that I love you," and it seems to help. I pray it will help some when she gets to the point of physical suffering, as your mother is. Take care.
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I am thinking of you, Susan! I do understand the agony. My mom is slowly fading away as well. Hospice nurse says its a matter of time. As soon as I try to accept she is dying, mom perks up a bit. Then I let my guard down and think she will be alright. All to get another dose of reality that she is dying when the good day turns for the worse again. Its a continuous reality check for me.
Every nite now after our prayers, I whisper in her ear and tell her "Its alright to let go" and that "I'll be just fine". I feel at this point she is holding on, waiting for something. But what is it??? All I can do is reassure her.
The lord will take care of your mom. Its only human to question WHY?? But there is a higher power that has a plan for all of us. I pray that the lord will give you the strength thru this difficult time.
Enjoy the time you have with your mom, those will be memories you will always cherish forever. Those memories will help you get thru your loss when the time comes.
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CaraMia Jul 2011
I agree with everyone's sharing in this thread, Susan. It is agonizing, and sometimes when we get to thinking about the circumstances we do get to asking why is this happening. There are no answers to that question that I know of. If we can get to a place of loving acceptance and cry as often as we need to, that is probably the very best we can do. You are very caring and sensitive to have gotten your mother a Kindle and in trying to make the end of her life as comforting as you know how. You are going above and beyond in the care of your mother. I'm proud of you. Remember that there is tremendous strength in weakness. We just don't realize sometimes that we are emotionally stronger than we think because we hurt so much. Peace.
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